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Original poster

StepChildren: DP and 2 x SD's not talking. Should I intervene?

8 replies

2OldSofty · 19/06/2006 15:02

DP and 2 x DD (my Sd's)aren't speaking. DP has sent cards etc and text'd; little nervous of ringing since last time got an earful Sad. Father's Day and no card brought feelings to the surface.
I feel there is a stalemate with each party being stubborn about who should talk or not. (won't bore you all with the details).
I wish they would all just get together to get all the emotional stuff out of the way and then move on, or am I being too idealistic? DP says that the more they ignore him, it confirms his resolve not to run after them. They are 17 and 20.
Should I let them get on with it or what?

OP posts:
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gothicmama · 19/06/2006 15:05

After thinking about it , he is the adukt and the dad and it should be he who keeps the lines of communication open, altho I would give it a bit of time soit doesn't look loike he is touch because of fathers day

NotActuallyAMum · 19/06/2006 15:18

Agree with gothicmana, although at 20 the elder one is an adult too albeit only just

If it was me I certainly wouldn't intervene for fear of being told to mind my own business

nicnack2 · 19/06/2006 15:43

i wouldnt interven unless you have a very good relationship with your sd. I wish also that my ss and his mother would sort out the emotional probs and life would be much easier all round (my lives with us)however i have intervened once and that got me no where. I would say to you dp that just continue to text and phone even if it is one word answers. ss mother doesnt do this and it then backfires on us.

Original poster
2OldSofty · 19/06/2006 21:13

bump - just a few more views plse!

OP posts:
beansprout · 19/06/2006 21:19

My sds are 18 and 21 and dh has got one text message in three years on fathers' day!! I would leave them be and just concentrate on supporting him. It is their relationship and as such is down to them (I have learnt the hard way!) Father/daughter relationships can be hard at the best of times - add in separation and the teenage years and there are bound to be problems...

beansprout · 19/06/2006 21:19

My sds are 18 and 21 and dh has got one text message in three years on fathers' day!! I would leave them be and just concentrate on supporting him. It is their relationship and as such is down to them (I have learnt the hard way!) Father/daughter relationships can be hard at the best of times - add in separation and the teenage years and there are bound to be problems...

sparklemagic · 19/06/2006 22:01

yes, I agree with gothicmama, he is the adult and the parent here and that means he should ALWAYS keep the channels of communication open. He is the only dad they will ever have and he is valuable to them, or will be; no matter how unlikely this seems at present.

I would support him in keeping in touch, if I were you. Just encourage him and remind him that they WILL come back, it's just a case of when. And they will value the fact that he thinks enough of them to keep in touch even if they don't say so.

flutterbee · 19/06/2006 22:14

I agree with gothicmama and sparkle, it is very important that their Dad keeps contacting them despite their lack of contact.
I have experience in this from the daughters side of things and can 100% say the Dad has to keep the contact otherwise you shall drift.

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