Taking the jump

[tessa6]

I just started seeing a man who has fairly recently separated from his wife (his earlier infidelity, all over now). I really really like and fancy him and we're falling in love. But I can't help fearing the practicalities of a life together. He gives me no reason for this, is very positive, faithful and kind to me. She chucked him out after discovering an affair a year ago , now they're divorcing and he is deeply sorry for doing it. The OW went back to her husband. He has explained and I understand the underlying reasons, though of course both know there was no excuse. This is the first time I have ever seen anyone who's been married. And he has two children, 7 and 3. I have no children and am 33. Am I kidding myself this could be a good move? Should I look for someone else in the hope we could do it all fresh first time round? or should I trust in the very real and rare feeling of love and that the hard work will be rewarded?

I would be more concerned with the fact this man has had an affair in the past rather than the children. You need to be really sure for the children's sake - they have already been through a lot.

Thank you MsC. Yes, I know, you're right. The reason I am thinking so hard about this is because I haven't met the children yet and I don't want to do anything lightly.

tessa I think this thread says it all

When me and dp met each other's kids we were both feeling the relationship might be going somewhere but needed to get to know each other's children and how we were as parents before being sure. But we were cautious about spending lots of time together too quickly because we didn't want kids to become too attached until we were sure it was going somewhere.

It may be that if you feel your relationship is going somewhere then you may want to slowly meet his kids to help you decide but be aware of their feelings too.

thank you, MsC. And thanks for that thread, China, blimey! Lots to think about..