Why oh why haven't I found this board before....I feel SO relieved...

[louby44]

I have spent a few hours reading the threads on this step-parenting board and I could weep with relief. No I am not alone. No I am not going mad!

It is like a breath of fresh air to read about other people who are going through EXACTLY what I'm going through!

As a part-time step parent, but living with my partner who is in effect a full-time step parent to my kids, we have often struggled with family life, our kids and our relationship. It is wonderful to read peoples posts and relate to them.

I also have come to realise, through my reading this afternoon who is here to help and who is here to hinder. Enough said.

I hope you don't mind if I stick around and ask questions and maybe even offer some advice.

Lou
Age 44, teacher, living with DP for 6 yrs (2 DS aged 10 & 13) and 2 DSD (age 13 & 15, who live with their mum)

Welcome, Lou!

Yes, after a while I realised the secret is to 'consider the source' and take on only the comments offered in a constructive spirit.

I've been here for a couple of years now, I guess, and it makes a huge difference to me to know there are other good stepmums and good people who are dealing with the same issues. There are some lovely people here. :)

Its good to read about others in the same boat and that many issues are univeral, isn't it?

I have two dsd age 10 & 7 and one ds age 2.8.

I am relatively new too and learning the rules so to speak.

Hi Lou, the step-parenting board has helped me so much. I understand so much more, feel I can spot potential pitfalls and help steer our family back on track. I think I will always be learning.

I know exactly what you mean about some of the unhelpful advice. Your best bet is to focus on what actual stepmothers have to advise and tune out the rest.

Btw I read your holiday thread, and although I can't offer any useful advice I do wish you the best of luck with your eldest DSD. Xx

Hi Lou, just commented on your other thread. Welcome to the darkside

Hello louby! This board has helped me to. :) welcome

its nice here, nice to know we aren't all bad.

Thank you everyone for the welcome! Now why didn't I come here first lol

Wow 20, that is young! I didn't even have my first son till I was 30. What's your situation? How are you coping?

I am amazed at how little support/advice there is for step-families considering that we are a growing breed.

We are bombarded with help and advice during pregnancy and through the toddler years then it all just stops and its up to you to seek support etc. Add to the mix the step-family thing and it's a nightmare!

Parents need much more support to help with pre-teen and teenagers I think - whether they are step parents or not.

I can relate, I met my partner and became a step parent at 19 when we moved in together . there is so much info and support for families but step parenting seems to be ignored

Welcome. I've been a stepmum for about 14 years and on here for about 10 years. I posted on the other thread, my dsd is 17 and I'm her guardian. I've lived through the ups and downs of step-parenting a angry teen with many tears, much frustration at times and lots of wine! She's a great girl now and we have a wonderful relationship. It's been so much easier since we were left to it, without the influence of her mum or her dad!

Being a stepmum is one the hardest things I've ever done and you're right, there is little support for it and so many different opinions as to what is acceptable, what isn't. There's the "overstepping" line which is different for different people, mixed with the various ways people set their house rules. And then there are the emotions that come up too, not only for the step-parent but for the parents too. It's no wonder really that it can get fraught, and I think no wonder that when looking for support you can get a whole range of opinions.

Im new to this board and finding it really useful reading everyones experiences. Im 27 expecting my first DD nxt month and have 2 DSS who are 14 and 9 been with my DH For 5 years and married for 1 year. We have the boys most weekends and usually half of the holidays as far as work for us both allows. I have to say ive been very lucky and not had major issues. Boys and i have always got on well and they think of me as weekend mum, and that's pretty much how we function. I do everything a mum would do i think, and love the boys very much. Sorry for the thread-nap, but thanks for everyone for sharing their experiences x

Me too needa I was 21, none of my friends were really in relationships even and I had a ready made family. This forum is great.

You will find support (and some critism or comments but on the whole it is a great place to be.

It has saved my sanity, on occasion.