Well, I do think it is quite hard for any parent to take an objective view of how they parent, and even harder for Disney parents, since part of the 'disorder' (for lack of a better word!) seems to be an inability to rationally judge one's actions! So, take any responses you get here with a grain of salt. It is also often more about how things are done than the things themselves, if that makes any sense. Could it be that your DH is bothered by the assumption that you will do for DS, by the pattern of behaviour rather than each individual thing in itself? How often do you say no to DS, or tell him to wait, or get him to chip in versus being waited upon?
Do all the kids live with you part or full time? What are the ages? Are there house rules, or just separate rules for each?
What are your DH's actual complaints? There must be more going on here than just breakfast and an occasional cup of tea, surely?
As for specific expectations, OK, here is my personal view.
Breakfast. For a ten-year-old, I'd expect him to get himself a bowl of cereal or make toast for himself on the mornings in the holidays. I would not expect him to do more than that. If a school morning, I'd probably lend some assistance, but would expect him to be doing it with me - not me doing it for him. We only do cooked breakfasts (brunch, really) on the occasional weekend in our house, and I prepare that for everyone.
Tea. At ten? I'd still do it. But I wonder if your DS acts the way my DSD did (and has barely stopped doing, at 18) about hers - ordering DH about, expecting him to drop what he was doing the minute she wanted tea/water/food, using it as a tactic to interrupt us when we were talking or watching a film. And I'd be sure I was showing him how, so that in a couple of years, he could be making tea for others as well as himself.
Cold drinks? No, a ten year old can get those himself.
Chores. I think a ten-year-old should have some age-appropriate jobs around the house (you say yours does, right? Does your DH think they aren't enough? Do his kids have them?) and there should be some kind of consequence if they aren't done and done reasonably well/timely.
Coming when called. I'd be surprised if there are many ten year olds who don't dawdle when called. But if it were more than this - like just ignoring me when I spoke, altogether, or needing to be called a dozen times (rather than, say, 2), or a disrespectful attitude, I would not be satisfied with that.
It is certainly true that people care about very different things.