First day of school

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Hey I'm new to this and just want some opinions on something. I have been with my partner for over three years now and he has a dd who is starting school next week. She lives with her mum and stepdad full time but comes to us every second weekend and some holidays. My partner works full time and can't be at the school to see his dd going in on her first day? Is this bad. In my opinion dads don't always get involved in things like this, my dad was the main earner in our household when I was young and he never attended things like this.
My partner and I have not had much to do with his dd schooling (nursery etc) as things haven't been very civil with his ex partner which makes it more difficult. is it bad that we won't be there on her first day?

I don't think it's bad that YOU aren't there on her first day, as its not a stepparents place imo - but I know lots of parents who take time off work to mark their DCs milestones; although I appreciate its not always possible.

Think of it like this - the teachers at your DSD school won't be able to be with their DCs on their first day of school, either.

A phone call/Skype, a little 'grown up' school related gift and lots of excitement when he next sees her will still make it special for her.

Couldnt he ask work if he can start an hour later? If he wanted to be there he would

Well I am a teacher so can't be at my son's first day at school so handed that over to his dad.

I think taking a day off work for a child's first day at school is more for the parents' benefit than the child's and it could stress the child out more when the parents aren't together.

I don't see it as a terrible problem, mainly because of the amount of contact he has with them. If he had her 50:50 I would probably think he should be there.

But I do disagree with you china I think it depends on the situation as to whether step parents have a need/right to be there, for instance I think her step dad should because she lives with him full time. But then I have a good relationship with DSD's mum and step dad and we regularly attend things as a foursome. For instance we went round their house in the morning of DSD's first day at senior school for breakfast.
Although the Skype idea is a great one

My ex didn't come in for either of our DCs' first days at school, but spoke to both on the phone. In my experience, very few of the kids had both parents there, whether divorced, together or whatever.

It's nice if

Try again
It's nice if one parent is there for first day.
Not necessary for both.
And I survived neither being there back on the 60s when none of this was such a big deal.

My DH never gets the chance to be there for our DCs first day at school. He doesn't get to go to school plays or parents evening either as he can't get time off for a day here or there as it would stuff up the teams.

Hasn't affected DCs as far as I can tell, they have just as much fun telling him all about it when he gets home.

My dad was in the army and it was very strange moving to civilian schools where there were one or two dads at school things. As long as there was someone there it was fine.

There's not much of a role for parents at the first day of school - you just escort them into the classroom, say goodbye and leave.

There's better ways for your DP to get involved in his DD's life tbh - one thing he should do is ask the school how they communicate with parents - most either use email or will allow a NRP to leave stamped addressed envelopes to get school letters in. Trying to make school plays, sports days, parent teacher evenings or accompany school trips would all give him a chance to understand her new life better than waving her off on her first day. She'll be nervous herself no doubt and having both your parents with you when that's not usually what happens would probably just add to the stress. He can give her a ring later, or buy her a new lunch box or something to mark the occasion.

I don't recall most kids coming with more than one parent when mine started school - would imagine the school would probably rather they didn't as the classroom would get quite crowded.

I agree with PurpleRoses, first day of school isn't nearly as big an event as people make it out to be and considering your DSD is mainly living with her mum and her mum is going to be there I don't think there is a problem or that your DP needs to take a day off work if it's difficult.

All the other things listed by PurpleRoses allow much more interaction than the 1st day of school, your DP can get to know the teachers, her school life, school friends etc.

My DP and I try and "socialise" with the children's schools as much as we can for all the children. We try and attend sports days, parents evening, chat to other parents at drop offs and pick ups to arrange playdates, offer to help on school trips etc. My DSS is starting school in September and we will both be attending, but then we are local to the school and will be doing the school run for the others that day anyway. However we have his children 50% of the time so it's much easier for us than it is for your DP as he never has his daughter on school days.

If he is keen to get involved is it possible he can arrange with his ex to collect his DD from school once a week and have her over for tea perhaps? Means much more regular contact and a chance to speak to teacher, see noticeboards etc then he might feel a little more included and this will benefit his daughter too.