am I being silly?

9 replies

Scottishgal · 02/08/2013 22:24

My dp of 2 years moved in with me and my family a year ago. Since then he has seen his two children once a week for the day. We are considering moving out into our own house soon. My dp has always said to me he can't wait for us to have a child of our own but i feel once he starts having his two children (boy and a girl) overnight and seeing them more he won't be as eager to have children ofour own. I think his attitude would be have them because I want them and won't be as bothered. Am I being silly?

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OldLadyKnowsNothing · 02/08/2013 22:28

How does he behave with his existing dc? That'll be a heads-up as to what kind of dad he'd make when living with another dc.

Original poster

Scottishgal · 02/08/2013 22:36

He's a really good dad. Hes not good with babies..it when they start walking and interacting toddler age and pays for them etc

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entersandmum · 02/08/2013 22:38

Kids are hard work. Others kids are hard work. Step-parents need a medal!

entersandmum · 02/08/2013 22:41

You should def.imagine him as he treats his own 2 kids. Eventually this could be you. Is this acceptable?

Original poster

Scottishgal · 02/08/2013 22:54

I know its just I think as he already has a boy and a girl he'll be getting nothing new so once we have them over night it'll seem like he has a family. So im just worried he won't be as excited and eager for us to have children

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OldLadyKnowsNothing · 03/08/2013 00:18

If you and your dp agree to try for a baby, he will be getting "something new", and he'll see it that way; another fantastic human being. And he'll have a better idea of what's involved, though at least you already know he's not good with infants.

But he may feel that, as he does already have a family, he doesn't want any more. How would that make you feel?

stepmooster · 03/08/2013 00:29

Why do so many women have this fear? I never had this. Your DH is the one wanting children and you're not having to twist his arm. Lots of parents have more than 2 children, I don't believe they love them any less.

He also sounds like a hands on dad, and that's a good sign. At least you are fortunate to see what sort of dad he will become.

For my DH at least having more children has helped him come to terms with the separation. He's also become less disney dad and I think DSS and DH actually have a better relationship now we have DD.

CountryGal13 · 03/08/2013 11:56

I'm sure if he's said he can't wait to have children with you then this is exacly what he wants. I don't think seeing his children more often will change this. He's probably excited to have a child who he'll live with and bring up from scratch in a loving family environment. My husband has 2 teenagers that we see regularly and I was a little worried that he wouldn't be as excited as me because he's done it before - I needed have worried, he couldn't be more besotted with our little baby. Even though he lived with his eldest until she was 10, he was very young and the relationship with his ex was always turbulent so I think he can really relax and enjoy family life this time round :) x

Original poster

Scottishgal · 03/08/2013 15:33

Thank you everyone for your replies. I know its silly and in my head I know all my dp wants is a stable family life. Just cos he loves his children etc doesn't mean he'll love ours any less. He can't wait to have a child fulltime its jjust my mind works over time and I eneded up thinking some silly and hurtful things. I just need to relax and enjoy it

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