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Not washing

8 replies

Jan45 · 03/07/2013 14:23

I posted a while back about my stepson not washing and 7 months later I still have this problem. I've talked to both his dad and him 'til I am blue in the face and although the showers start they soon stop again. This is frustrating me to the limit and I'm questioning my relationship with my OH. My thinking now is basically to tell stepson it's been 7 months and we're still at square one with the non washing so from now on I am going to run you a shower every evening - I feel uncomfortble even saying this to him, he's 17 and a half! Is this the best way to go as talking makes no difference! He also doesn't appear to own any underwear and it's the same pair of socks in 7 months for washing, that is it. He doesn't wash his hands after using the loo nor does he brush his teeth, basically, there is no personal hygiene. I can't fathom it out as his dad is never out the shower! Anyone got a good solution so I am not banging my head against a wall every week??? What's upsetting me also is the fact I am having to raise this all the time when I think his dad should be sorting it out.

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theredhen · 03/07/2013 14:52

Dad should be sorting it!

I would try and make it clear that you expect a shower to be taken every single day, that you expect to see dirty clothes in the wash bin every night.

If your dp doesn't support you then you need to tell dp that you will be detaching and then go on strike.

purpleroses · 03/07/2013 17:25

Refuse him any dinner til he's had a shower?

Jan45 · 03/07/2013 17:32

Hi guys, sorry I'm doing this at work so it's hard to get on. Going home now and will do exactly that, no shower, no dinner, wish me luck!

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NatashaBee · 03/07/2013 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jan45 · 04/07/2013 10:19

Hi, I spoke to him myself last night, he doesn't know why he doesn't wash, I said, that's not a reason so from now on, no shower, no dinner, I want to see you in there when I get home from work, it's going to be up to me to ensure it happens as OH doesn't seem to get it, which is annoying to say the least! He's a lovely lad otherwise, he's not doing it to wind me up I know that but he needs to realise that if he wants to live like a tramp he's not doing it in my home! He's quite immature for his age and there's no girls on the horizon, I think if there was, he'd think more about his personal hygiene so until the girl comes along, it's up to me!

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purpleroses · 04/07/2013 11:00

Well done! I'm not sure men tend to have as good as sense of smelll as most women - at least that's my DP's excuse for not being bothered by the odour from his DS's room! If you're comfortable telling him, and he's thick skinned enough not to get all upset about you doing so, then I think that's the way to go.

It's a catch 22 with girls though - until he starts washing there may be no girls going to come along Grin.

Jan45 · 04/07/2013 11:58

Thanks purpleroses, yes as usual it's up to us to sort the men out! I agree, until he takes some pride in his appearance no girl will go near him. He's troubled by spots, no wonder, he doesn't wash so that won't help them! He's 18 in December so should be well aware of what he needs to do to keep himself fresh as a daisy, it's not rocket science.

It's taken me a while but I now realise getting myself angry about it won't help and protesting that I shouldn't have to tell him won't help either.

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taxiforme · 12/07/2013 16:08

Hi

I have the same prob with my 15.5 yo dsd. See my post about secretly washing her clothes!
The day before our wedding we found out she had threadworms (she was 13)!! We are going on holiday soon and the thought of sharing with her defeats me!!
Like others have said there are no boys on the horizon...I am not sure if it is laziness or a deep seated problem.
I think though with a 17 yo boy you could be a bit more frank..I would have a matter of fact chat with him.

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