Im new to this but after reading some of the help offered I thought I would give it a go. I got with my other half 3 years ago and moved in after 6 months we knew each other for many years before this. he had a 2 year old that visits every other weekend. his ex initially made it very difficult for me to be around when he was staying and I went out of my way to leave my home when he was there until it was agreed that I could be around. since then I help in every way possible. I made it clear from the start that I wanted a child and I think he kept to this as he did not want to lose me. our daughter is now 17 months old and the apple of my eye. however thinks are increasingly difficult. before she came along my husband entertained his son when we had him and I would help and prepare meals and wash and clean (so the boring stuff ) but that was fine. With our own child he does not help much our daughter does not sleep through and I always to the night shift, he also expects me to work full time clean, cook and wash and iron etc.
He now is expecting me to take on the responsibility of looking after his son - if we have him on a week night sometimes my husband will go off and do his hobby leaving me to sort out both kids for night routines. He also does his own thing on a weekend and expects me to look after his son too. Dont get me wrong I am happy to do things as a family. and to look after him for a bit but I resent him doing other things when his son is here to see him and is asking for Daddy what is the point in us having him there?
I also find myself resentful as he does not help or have much time to do nice things with our daughter. He has only bathed her by himself once! fed her a few times etc. He has never taken her to the park... but when his son is here he will go over the top taking over the front room to build huge train tracks and leave little room for our daughter to play, also what ever I say is always wrong! I find that any affection that I had for my step son is going and I resent how things have to be so different when he is around. Also all the rules that used to apply to him when he was young dont apply the same for my daughter. Eg bed time husband insisted on complete quiet when trying to get his son to sleep when v young but he is happy for his son to make noise and giggle when I am trying to get our daughter to bed. If I ask nicely for them to keep the noise down I get told to 'shut up' in front of his child.
Does any one else out there have any similar story and how do you deal with it. I feel he asks a lot of me and though he wants his son there he does not want to deal with him all the time. His son is starting to be a bit naugty and I dont want this effecting our daughter. If I try and broach the subject I am always wrong!
Please help me I feel like I am worn out and loosing the plot - is this normal or and I being walked over?