can I take dsd to the dentist?

[HalfBakedCleverCookie]

Dsd has had a bad tooth for a couple if weeks now, it looks like she needs q filling in one of her baby teeth. We told dad's mum but she hasn't dealt with it so dp is going to sort it. He works full time though and I only work 4 days so is it possible for me to take her? Dp and I aren't married and I don't have any type of PR for dsd.

Dp's ex is in hospital having a new baby so dsd will be with us for the next few days anyway.

I don't see why not. I'm a dentist and often treat children brought in by nan/step mum/older sibling.

I took my DSS to the dentist regularly. No issue at all.

If your DSD needed major dental work (e.g. GA to get teeth removed) then of course someone with PR needs to sign to authorise, but otherwise, I would assume its fine.

I've taken my DSD to the dentist for the last 3 years. No problems as of yet!

Why can't your DP take time off work to do it? What would he do if you weren't in his life? Who would he delegate it to? Isn't part of being a parent taking responsibility for these issues even when it's inconvenient?

For me, as a Mum and Stepmum, it blurs boundaries and I've experienced how it can go wrong to the detriment of the DCs, but I realise that it works well for many. Problem is, you often don't know whether it will work or not until it goes wrong

As Disney and Needaholiday have said OP, I would think twice about getting into this stuff. Taking her in an emergency when neither parent is available and it would be cruel not to is one thing but your DP should be taking her to routine appointments.

Plus, from personal experience, it's quite humbling getting the bollocking for a child needing a filling in their milk tooth! My DSD has had 4 fillings and 3 abscesses to date and I've had the lecture for every single one of them. My own kids haven't had any fillings so I maintain it isn't the diet / dental hygiene routine that's in place here that's the problem!

Don't do it if you can help it.

I think it could be a bad idea if you/DH have not discussed these boundaries with the ex before and have an explicit 'understanding' that you will be doing these sort of things with DSD. If there is any unpleasantness over boundaries, especially, it would seem unwise to take on PR that you don't actually have.

Imagine if something went wrong - the dentist screws up, or the kid has nightmares afterwards, whatever - it might seem silly to focus on worst case scenarios, but really, you'd be exposing yourself to a lot of grief.

I hadn't even thought about getting a lecture! My own kids have never needed a filling either, nor have I for that matter so I don't fancy a telling off!

Dp can take the day off for it, I just didn't mind since I was off anyway but I am glad I asked on here first before we arranged it. Often mumsnetters think of things I wouldn't and it helps to see potential problems before they arise. Thanks.