Following a no-show last saturday, I sent this e-mail to my step-daughter (who is 16) on Tuesday.
" Where were you on Saturday?
Dad drove over to get you as you had clearly said that you were going to badminton as usual. He went in to the sports centre, they said you hadn?t been. He went to your house, no-one there either, and he has had no response from mum when he texted her phone (and still no response by today).
He was very worried and a bit upset, but by now I am quite cross. Dad gets very tired, you know he has a lot to do with looking after me and Christopher. He could have had an hour to himself instead of driving about to fetch you when you were not there. In addition, he wasted a gallon of petrol (that?s 5.5 litres to you) for no good reason. I really think he deserves a bit more consideration.
At the very least I think you should ring him on his mobile and apologise, perhaps it would be even better if just for once Mum could bring /fetch you. I?m sorry to sound so cross, but how would you feel if Dad just didn?t turn up when you were expecting him?
We have said lots of times, if you don?t want to come just say so. It had been so nice going for some lunch and having you to stay the previous week, now I feel really disappointed.
Dad doesn?t know I have sent this, but I shall tell him if he doesn?t hear from you by Thursday."
Assuming we hear nothing (from her or her mum), I'm in favour of dh not making first contact, just waiting for them to make a move.
dh's ex wife has failed to inform us of a change in arrangements before, but not for a long time. We thought these shinanigans were over. HoHum.
What would you do?