Support for potential stepdad and single mum

[Em32]

Posted this on parenting but realised here would probably be better.....

To cut a long story short,I've recently spoken to an old friend who told me she split with her husband at Christmas. She has got together with a friend she's known for years (was married for 8 years but has no kids)but he's having trouble coping with the idea that he might end up being 'dad' to her 5 year old son. I wondered if anyone knows if there are any support organisation for stepparents out there or people in this situation? Also, her ex has moved to the States and her son is saying things like 'daddy doesn't love me' and 'I haven't got a daddy anymore'. She's done her best to explain things to him (daddy and mummy used to fight so now they don't live together anymore but they still love you etc) but clearly he's only 5 and not coping very well. Her ex had (I thought) a close relationship with his son but hasn't even sent him a postcard since he left in March which I think is very sad. He isn't providing any child support either. Any ideas as to how to point her in the right direction for some help? She is coping pretty well at the moment and happy that she has left her ex (even if the new guy doesn't work out)but I feel for them all, and think they could all do with support.

She could try as a first step to go to Gingerbread, where she'll meet other lone parents who have been there and know what she's going through. Some of them will have had boyf's who also weren't sure about the idea of committing to a relationship wehre there is a child involved, and some of them may have actually been the one who were unsure of committing.

Re the bloke, he just has to decide whether he wants to be with this woman long term or not, and if so, he ahs to accept that he is going to be a father figure to the son, although not necessarily "dad", depending on whether his biological father bothers to maintain a relationship. But if so, he can't do it half-heartedly, he has to be absolutely committed to being a positive influence in this child's life, otherwise he'll be a harmful one. He can decide.