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Step-parenting

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should I stay or should I go?

6 replies

stepdad · 29/04/2006 11:36

I've been with my girlfriend for four years, and we have a two year old son that I am not the bio-father of. She told me she was pregnant when she was three months gone, we had been on a break at the time of about a week.
Most people would have walked out the door the moment she had said, but she broke down in tears, and I said I'd be there for her as a friend as she had no one else but an alcoholic mother. During her pregnancy we became closer, I helped out, she needed somebody.
I'm not saying I was great, there was a lot of name calling and times where I didnt call for days. This still has not changed we're always falling out, she has a place of her own, I stay over on weekends. But I love Ben and always want to see him, therefore everytime we split I end up back in the relationship. I wish I would have walked out that door three years ago.

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 29/04/2006 11:52

How very sad for you all. What do you want to do now, as opposed to regretting what you didn't do ages ago....?

stepdad · 29/04/2006 13:52

Leave but I find myself going back, and ending up in the same place.

OP posts:
NotActuallyAMum · 29/04/2006 21:33

From what you've said it sounds like you're just staying with her because of the child? That doesn't work in a biological family, let alone a step-family. It will do none of you any good in the long run

awayninahmanger · 29/04/2006 21:44

totally agree with NAAM
words out of mouth

Caligula · 29/04/2006 22:01

Why don't you ask her if you can go to Relate?

It may sound a bizarre suggestion, but Relate isn't just there to save relationships, it's there to end relationships which should be ended, in a more civilised and bearable way than they would otherwise be ended. It will give you the support you need to end it, and make her understand why it needed to end.

ScummyMummy · 29/04/2006 22:16

That sounds like a good idea, Caligula. Good luck, stepdad. You sound like a lovely person. I hope things work out for you and your girlfriend and ben, whatever happens about you guys staying together or breaking up.

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