The stigma of being a NRP

[NotaDisneyMum]

I'm so cross I can't even be bothered to name change!

DSS spends Thurs to Mon every other week with us - so 20% of his school days are spent with us and have been for 2 years.

Despite this, the school aren't very good at keeping DP informed and he has to ask for copies of letters etc if/when he hears about them - as DSS mum doesn't tell him.

DP got an from the school secretary today with a letter from the PTA attached. Unfortunately, she had forwarded on all the email correspondence between herself and the chair of the PTA in which she explained that she needed a copy of the letter for the astranged families.

This is the latest in a long line of incidents in which the school has blatantly discriminated against separated parents - including the brutally honest statement from the Head when DP explained that he and DSS mum were no longer together in which she said that the school had too many split families

sock, isn't it possible, though, that another approach might have produced equally good, or better, results as well?

Perhaps you don't realise it, but it really seems like you are talking down to the the rest of us and telling us (well, NADM specifically, but also anyone else who shares her view of this situation) that we need to get over ourselves...not make it about our feelings...let things go...stop being daft...

What if I were to say to you that perhaps your relationships with the two men you mention suffered as a result of your approach? Or that I knew exactly the right way to stay married, based on my years of experience, and you seemed to be doing it all wrong...?

You'd probably think it was a bit rude of me, honestly, and tell me that I didn't really know what I was talking about.

actually i would probally compleatly agree with you that chances are you had more experance than i did of staying married to someone,well obviously if that was your suituation as mine is limited to a 11 year marrige followed by a 4 year one (cant blame me for that he passed away) then a 7 year one. however in my case the actual mothers of the children involved would probally compleatly agree with me that the dads were arses (one of them even let me crash at hers after i ran away).

or perhaps i may very well ask you about how to find and work out if a chap was going to be decent rather than about staying hitched because clearly i have issues in that dept,but then again i tend to be fairly aware of my own issues long after the fact same as most people do. but at the time its very much a kinda if i allways pick what i allways have then i will allways get what i allways got i just cant see it kinda thing.

from other posts that the op has made its fairly obvious that significant stress is involved in the relationship with her ss and i genuinely really feel for her it appears that she alone is being punished for something that was not soley her doing,after all nobody can undo the past but they can try and improve the future.

i dont know it all and i most certainly never have but i have learnt from some very kind advice that was given to me from a lady who had experance of simmerler things for me her advice worked very well and i am now extreamly lucky to have the relationships with the kids i love dearly,surely as with anything if an approach isant working they way you would like it to its often worth giving something that might work a go?

but yes its totally my bad for not understanding that the op was a vent rather than a try and help thing,as yes when i reread knowing its a vent it should have been compleatly obvious to me.

On a practical note, my DH supplied my SC's school with a stack of SAE's in various sizes in an attempt to encourage them to send him copies of everything. I wouldn't say it's worked 100% but it's helped.

Schools are rubbish at sending out two sets of correspondance - we have supplied SAE many times, but we still only get occasional letters.

It is really annoying and puts pressure on DSD to remember to tell us everything.

If they have so many estranged families - why the hell can't they get the comms right? It's not bloody rocket science after all.

I can understand your frustration.