What do I do?? Our DS starting to call me by my first name

[WinterLover]

Ok I've been with DP for 4/5 years, he was a DD who is soon to be 7. She's wanted to call me mummy firstname for a long time but her mother has banned her from doing this, despite calling step-dad dad.

It's never bothered me being called by my first name until now. Our DS is 1 and he's my first. He idolises his sister, i never realised that could be possible from a young age but its clear he does.

Anyway he started saying mum a while ago, but hes started to sound out the first part of my name. If DP says wheres mum he doesnt turn or anything, if he says wheres 'firstname' he looks at me. DP calls me mum when hes around, as do most people.

This probably should be in a different forum but thought you lot may be able to help.

What do we do, DP things DSD should call me mummy firstname (like she does her stepdad), DSD wants to call me that... but im scared it will cause so many issues.

I guess I always thought that I would be mummy to my own child... any ideas/help/large wine??

Don't worry - hel'll learn. My oldest started to call my ex and myself by our names but we just carried on with ' tell mummy/daddy, etc. most people's kids i know have done the same thing.

thankyou :-) no-one in real life is in the position of step-kids. I guess if it wasnt for DSD then I suppose I wouldnt be so upset about it and just figure he'll learn.... gosh the world of steps makes you question everything!!

Having kids full stop puts a spin on everything!! It's lovely the children get on.

They soon sort it out. My DS1 called DH his first name and the younger ones said Daddy.Just keep pressing on.

Ahhhh feeling better already. I felt bad saying I didnt want DSD calling me mum, although I do the 'mun' stuff im not her mum iykwim.

Yes they do get on so well, she told everyone at sports day her baby brother was there watching her. She's very proud of him, as she is her (half) sister at her mums.

I wouldn't worry about it my DN went through a stage of calling my DSis by her name but he soon grew out of it

I have the same issue with my dd as I'm a childminder.

I also sometimes get it the other way around where mindees will call me mummy. They all learn though.

There will be moments of confusion but will return to normal. I am seven years older than my half-brother and used to visit weekly for half a day. We always got on well (still do in our 30s). When 2 or 3 he once asked what time his 'other mother' was coming. A year later he wanted to marry me!

We had the same thing with names, though I call dad by his name too. The half-siblings very occasionally used names when I was there, or when talking to me, then realised I knew who they meant by mum and dad!

It's a shame but I wouldn't worry, it'll get sorted out.

My DSCs actually all call me mummy in front of our DCs even though they otherwise use my name - I was quite pleased that they thought to do that and we'd never even thought to ask them. They were older though (9, 9 and 14 when my first was born).

One of my DSDs did actually ask when we got married if she should call me mum now, but I said while I would really love it, it wouldn't be very fair on her real mum.

It is so lovely that your little boy idolises his (half)sister (we don't really use the term half, they are just brothers and sisters). We have 5 between us and it's so wonderful seeing them together :)

(btw I don't mean they call me mummy like I am their mummy - it is more like if DCs are involved eg "pass the ball to mummy")

When my DS was that age he called me "daddy" (he also called his dad, daddy - didn't see the need for a separate name for me!)

You DS will learn to use the name that others use for you - this doesn't mean they have to address you as mummy - but that they refer to you as mummy when they talk to him - your DSD can do this too - she'll teaching DS that you're his mummy.

He'll learn - after all, first born children learn to call their mum mummy even though noone else addresses her by this name.

Thankyou everyone. Feel a bit stupid now

Don't feel stupid, I am already dreading the day mine switch from Mummy to Mum! It'll be the end of an era.

I was concerned about this too for a while, but all my dsc and dp have aways referred to me as 'mummy' (as in "where is your mummy?") when talking to my dd (who is learning to talk atm) and somehow she has learnt that I am mummy to her and a different name to the other children. I think my dsc's doing this has been crucial to my dd not being confused by the two names, though they did this off their own back not bacause I asked. Try not to worry, your dc will grasp it, and the reality is that we have many different roles to many different people so your dc understand this way before other kids.

Hello,

I'm really worried about this one, so glad I saw this thread. I am currently pregnant with DS1 and looking forward to being "mummy" however my DSD calls me "Nat Nat" which is totally fine, but I'm really worried about baby picking up on this over the next year or two and calling me the same.

I call hubby "Daddy" when DSD is around but it's not like he can call me "mummy" when they are both about because I'm not her mum and don't want that confusion (she is only 3)