My dd is confused

[OhEmGee24]

This is my first post about this, please bare with me.

My dd is 2.1. Her dad left us when she was 2 weeks old and since that day has seen him anything between once a week to once a month, and just for a few hours at a time. I've really tried for them to have a stronger bond but he just isn't interested. Eg, he chose her birthday weekend and last Christmas of all the time in the year to go away...

7 months ago I met my now boyfriend. I'd never introduced her to anyone else so was wary. But I just knew he was someone special. So here we are, she's 25 months and my boyfriend spends 2-4 nights a week with us and always doing lovely things with her, yesterday we had a fab time at the farm.

Clearly she is getting a little unsure of his "role" as at nursery she "drew" mummy, dd and him (she doesn't as standard call him daddy but has done as a slip of the tongue a few times).

My boyfriend is 30, no kids but at the age where he does want them and has pretty much adopted the role when he stays with us.

I don't really know what I'm asking, other than how have others managed new people on the scene? I suppose it's a good think dd was only 19months when we got together, very young and adaptable?

Sorry for the waffle, I'd appreciate anything anyone has to say.

Em x

Bump.

Until someone with better advice comes along.... I think it's great that you've met a nice guy that wants to be around your daughter. I assume her dad is still on the scene - albeit distantly - so I would just carry on as you are but make sure your daughter knows that your BF isn't her dad as such but a special person in her life - maybe think of a special name for him? - drawing pictures of him as her dad is ok - as she's so young - but I would not mislead her that he is her dad just in case you don't stay together longterm and she feels let down - again x

Oo a special name sounds nice, thank you!

I would say take it slowly and always be honest with her.
She will grow up seeing him as a father figure but you should be clear he isn't her dad. In time she will come to her own conclusions about her real dad but that is for her to do.

Sounds like it is all working out well already.