so sick of it

[deburca]

I am - Im so sick of being treated like shit by certain WAG's of my husbands friends. They were good friends with his ex and they treat me like its my fault their marriage ended. Honestly so rude sometimes, this weekend being one occasion where I, as an olive branch, thought I would have a treatment at a salon owned by one of them and she left me sitting there waiting for 20 mins so I eventually walked out.

I KNOW they feel loyalty towards his ex, I KNOW she was hurt when they split but we are married now, have dc and are trying to get on with things.

I feel like telling them all to Grow up and fk off!!! I have tried and tried for my husbands sake to get on with them. I know it hurts him but I just cant. I think his ex is behind it. She has basically said that they may have been ablet to work on things if I hadnt have came along. Sorry for ranting but seriously! She has bitched about me so much, how I look, etc etc and I just normally bite my tongue and say nothing. So angry about it now though!! Im afraid its going to impact my relationship with her dc as Im so angry about it all!!

Were you the OW?

You don't have to spend time with these people.
If they can't be civil to you then don't have anything to do with them.
Your DH should either have a word with them or stop seeing them too.
I'm not surprised you are angry - its like playground bullying.

no anysummer there was a girfriend before I ever came on the scene, the difference was when he started dating me he started divorce proceedings!.

The previous girl was never introduced to these people, lucky her! my dh is very upset about it now and says he is starting to question how these people could call themselves his friend and treat someone he loves this way.

They have all known in each years kaluki and I agree with you its like playground bullying. I knew my dh from we were very young, our lives parted ways and then we met again and fell in love. They comment on everything apparently, Im 10 years younger than them, thats commented on, my dh put photos of me up on facebook and one of their dh's said that there was bitching going on about that from his wife and her cronies so my dh defriended her!

im so sick of them and honestly am going to lose my temper and let them all know what I think.

While I can understand the motive behind the principle of not taking sides when couples separate, the reality is that it is usually impossible for friends not to sympathise more with one "half" of the couple than the other, and that tends to lead to the end of the friendship with the other "half".

There is no rule that says that you have to be friends with his mates WAGs - especially if they are still friends with his ex. You have a life totally independent from your DH's life - keep in touch with the friends that you had before you got together, and when he's off with the lads, you can make plans with them.

If they thought anything of your DH, they would have welcomed you into their social group, and tried to make you feel comfortable despite the history - as it is, it's clear they are pretty shallow and unlikely to be there if he really needed them, so I wouldn't bother trying anymore.

I agree notadisney. The men of the group and lovely to me, the women pretty awful to be honest. Ive told DH that I wont be in their company and if we are having drinks in the local and any of them arrive over to join us I will be making a point of moving elsewhere.

I think they feel that I ended their friends marriage. His ex has made it known that he asked for a divorce when he met me - which is true - and that she feels that if stayed away then her marriage could have been salvaged.

These women are in their 40's behaving like children. I agree that if they truly cared for my dh they would go out of their way to remain neutal in the whole thing. Im livid about the incident on saturday and have made it very clear to dh that i will never ever be put in a position like that again.

What I feel like doing is confronting them and his ex! Telling them all what I think and truly letting rip! Would feel Sooooooooooooooo good after biting my tongue for so long!

It may be that, dh and by association, you....must let these "friendships" go.

I know it's a very different scenario but, there's a member of mymdh's family who is utterly resentful of me. I wasn't the OW either. I came along years after dh and his ex divorced because of HER affair. If it was simply a "friend" I'd turn my back on this relative and have nothing to do with them. That's my advice to you.

You have nothing to feel badly about. You have a husband and together, a child. Concentrate on that and let 'them' go.

Thanks Eliza22. Im trying my best but its so difficult!! My DH has really gotten angry and has now confronted his exw about it. He has basically told her that he wants her to stop this behaving like a victim bollocks .

He has walked over into the middle of a group in the local, told bitchy salon girls that he is well pissed off and to not even think of contacting him again (they often ask for favours, he is very handy) pretending to be his friend and basically hurting his wife and acting like and I quote "childish bitter biddies".

He is normally such a gentle sort regarding women, very gentlemanly, would go out of his way not to cause offence and has often been the shoulder to cry on that im sure their jaws needed to be lifted off the floor. To ice the cake of the situation one of their husbands didnt know the extend of what had been happening and told his wife she was a disgrace when he found out!

im delighted. I have decided though to contact his exw myself and tell her to back off with the bullshit. I have never retaliated to anything that she has said or done and I think she reckons Im a walkover!

i know she said stuff to his parents regarding me when I first got together with him and it really has spiralled since then!!

Im still livid when I think of it!!!

If there are DC involved here you need to calm down. Conflict is very damaging to children and there is really nothing to be gained by getting into more. Any further hostility will reflect badly on you in the eyes of his parents anyway.

I agree with Balia. So far op, you've behaved with dignity.... Something his ex and the 'friends' could benefit from. If you join the fray....you lower yourself. Besides, there's no need. Your dh has already made the point, good style!!

Be above it. And them.

I know you are both right, i just feel so bullied by it. I feel that I should have stood up for myself at the starts as its going on so long now that it nearly feels part of my life.

His sister is actually one of the worst people involved in it. An example of this is facebook - I dont have it, find it quite dangerous in ways, she will comment on all exw photos etc but studiously ignores anything my dh posts regarding us, ie photographs etc etc. She actually posted a photograph and named everything single person in it but me. I asked my dh if perhaps she couldnt remember my name!

SIL exdh left her for a work colleague about 9 years ago. She is still extremely bitter about it to the point that no photographs can be shown if he is in any of them (ie old photos from teenage years etc) and no mention can be made of him. I think I have taken the place in her mind of the ow in her marriage break up.

Im just sick of it at present, really despise his ex now as I have gone out of my way to remain aloof to all this and she uses every opportunity to run me down. WHAT is WRONG with the girl? honestly. Its been years!!!

Oh sorry for ranting - just fed up.

Let it go. Be above it. Seriously. You have all that the ex clearly, still wants. I know this scenario well.