Pulling my hair out !!!!!

[anna112]

My husband has an 8 year old son from a previous marriage who has lived with us for the last 2 years because his mum decided that she'd rather go out on the p rather than look after her kids. We have always got on really well and he even called me mum sometimes and bought cards that said mum on. When i found out i was pregnant he was so excited and happy and couldn't wait for the baby coming. I had a baby boy which he was so happy about cos he wanted a brother. My son is now 6 months old and things in our house seem to be getting worse. When my son was born he started being really nasty towards me. He went through a phase of trying to teach the baby to call me by my name and not mummy which really upsets me. He doesn't seem to understand that i am my sons mum. I don't know if it's because his mum left him that he expects me to just give birth to and then leave my son too. He is constantly trying to distract my son when he is with me or anyone else on my side of the family. He has also started being really rude and whenever i tell him anything he just sits there and smirks at me. I know he is only 8 but he seems to be putting a wedge between our family. Him and my husband on one side and me and my son on the other. I am at the end of my tether and don't know how to resolve the problems as we lived quite happily together before !!!!!!

It is so hard isn't it?

I am sure he sin't trying to drive a wedge between you all, it is probably his insecuyrities coming out. Plus his age.

Perhaps he needs some time just with you, whilst DH has the baby, so that he can be reassured that you are still thre for him. And maybe DH could explain it L TO HIM TOO.

I have 2 sc, but htye don't live here. But I do sympathise, as it is so hard having a new baby whilst trying to make everything else run as usual.

I agree with littlerach, it may be his insecurities coming out, it must be so hard for the poor little man. He may well think that you may leave him, maybe he feels like he is 'protecting' his little brother from it. Also it could be good old fashioned sibling rivalry.

Either way I think you need to spend some time with your dss alone and reassure him that you are not going anywhere and you love him and his new little brother.

It may take some time but I'm sure it will be ok in the end.

How very painful for you. But it may actually be a compliment to you. You have become such a lovely mum to him that he doesn't want to share you. And as a step-son it may seem a very real danger to him that he will be relegated to second place.
Try lots of love and ignoring little things that can be ignored.
I have no experience of this myself, except to say that my ds1 wasn't best pleased when ds2 was born!! It was very hard to summon up the energy and patience to deal with his attention seeking-behaviour.

He wants your son to call you by your name because he does. he doesn't want your son to call you mummy, as he himself doesn't call you mummy, and he doesn't want your son to have a privelidge that he doesn't have himself. By the sound of it, you are the only mummy your dss knows, and he doesn't want to share you or lose you, and it might look to him like he is going to.

He may be trying to subconciously get the baby to reject you, so you won't fuss over it so much and he can have you back. He won't understand the special relationship between you and your biological son, because his mother hasn't demonstrated it to him. All he sees is his brother getting better treatment than himself(whether this is the case or not) and he will never find this fair. Eight is very young.