Granchidren

[MissFenella]

Dss and his partner are due to have their 1st child any day.

Anyone have experience of being a step grandma? I was generally just going to go along with whatever they wanted as we have a great relationship, but if there are obvious pitfalls I'd like to avoid them!

Thanks.

My step dad became a grandad to my son really early into my mums and his relationship. Now they are joined at the hip. My son like my step dad mote then my mum!

He calls him 'gan gan' he called him this of his own choice.

Is there anything you are worried about?

My stepdad became 'Grandpa' to DS just 18 months into his relationship with DMum. Although, having not lived at home, we weren't all that close as yet he developed the most wonderful and loving relationship with DS and was everything you would want in a grandparent. They were utterly inseparable. It was a lovely relationship although we did lose him to cancer a couple of years ago.

Take it as it comes and, if my experience is anything to go by, you can develop just as lovely a relationship taking your cues from your dss. If you have a good relationship with him, you have nothing to worry about.

Thanks. I'll take their cues and just enjoy

No, but I have a step granny and she's lovely. In every way a real grandparent to me, though I've always called her by her first name, not "granny". If you have a great relationship with your DSS you'll be fine. Congratulations!

I had a step-grandpa and a step-nan growing up - to me they were just my grandparents same as any others - we called them grandpa and nan.

I have already told my 3 dsds that I do not want to be called by my first name by any dcs they may have! I want to just be grandma or whatever to them...

My parents and grandparents, and DP's parents are all called grandma/granny/grandad/grandpa by all of our children (DSs and DSSs). My exH's step mum is grandma too. They are lucky - they are overrun by grandparents of various types!!!

With my DSSs, this evolved by itself. My parents introduced themselves by their first names, the DSSs asked if they could call them grandma/grandad.

As the others say, relax and go with the flow.

Born today, a boy!

Congratulations!

Congratulations on your new grandchild/step-grandchild (not sure what you have decided to refer to him as)

I must admit it is totally different for my parents when it comes to my partners son.

My parents have met my partners child (approximately 3 times in nearly 3 years), but due to the biomum being ... bizarre/unpredicable/unreasonable/strange/psychotic/angry/half-normal (at times) ... delete where applicable, this behaviour doesn't help anybody and I have no desire for my parents to be involved in any of her mad behaviour, so my parents aren't really involved in SS life (which I'm sure biomum is very happy about ... she'd be happier if I wasn't around either ... it seems she just wants my partner to become a sad, lonely old man).

My parents ensure they come round to see me and my partner when his son isn't there, or I go to see my parents alone (without my partner) if his son is with us for a weekend.

My parents have given me and my partner some sweets/small toys/books to pass on to his son at christmas time, plus my mum has bought a few items of clothing for my partners son (which again was passed directly to us, not given over to his son directly from them ... but he is informed who got these things for him),

so they do the very basics, just to ensure a 7 year old child isn't left out or without anything (which I think is lovely of them, given the very limited times they have seen him, plus they know me and my partner get a huge backlash from the biomum if she finds out that my parents have dared to give HER son anything) ... oh it's all sooooooooo pathetic