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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

What age do girls start to wear make-up?

21 replies

Squirrel3 · 23/02/2006 06:43

I was around 13 when I started to experiment with make up. My dd was about the same age.

The reason I ask is dsd (age 10) has been turning up wearing full make up (eye shadow, mascara, lipstick and blusher!) Yesterday evening she was wearing as much make-up as I wear for a night out. Dp was livid and told her to wash it off. It turns out her mother is putting the make-up on for her, dp asked her if she asks her mum to put it on for her and she replied no ?Mum just puts it on?. It?s like her Mum is playing ?dress up the little doll?, and I realise that its up to her mother how dsd is brought up but surely dp should have a say. I?m sure dsd likes to wear make up, but dp and I feel at 10 years of age she is far to young.

In our opinion she dresses far too old for her age, she is always dresses in the height of fashion in designer clothes. Her mother goes mad if she gets any of these clothes dirty, dp and I feel that ?she is a 10 year old, let her be a 10 year old and run around in the park in a pair of trainers and jeans and let her get muddy if that is what she wants?.

Her mother seems to delight in the fact that she has several boys hanging around, ?My daughter is so pretty, look at all of the boys chasing her?. I just think that she is creating a problem for dsd. Is her mother still going to be saying the same thing when she is 13?

Maybe dp and I are over reacting but we are worried about dsd being made to grow up far to quickly.

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FairyMum · 23/02/2006 06:56

Agree with you. 10 is still a child. I would never let mine wear make-up at this age and would worry what other people thought and how they would treat a 10 year-old who might look a lot older than she was.

SecondhandRose · 23/02/2006 07:37

No you're not over reacting. Mother sounds bonkers.

Sparklemagic · 23/02/2006 08:13

Squirrel, you are not overreacting at all, it is highly inappropriate, and really really sad for this girl that she has to worry about her clothes and make up when she should be enjoying a carefree childhood.

I once had a friend and her 3 yr old DD round, and the 3 yr old actually refused to go out in the garden as she might get her boots dirty.....

Makes me so cross that these kids can't just romp about like kids.

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 23/02/2006 08:21

Kids should be allowed to be kids IMO.

Its nice to know that we are not over reacting, but I just know her mother is going to go balistic when dp talks to her later because he dared to tell dsd to wash it off.

OP posts:

Blandmum · 23/02/2006 08:26

10 is way too younge IMO.

I see a lot of girls in y7 wearing full face make up. These are often girls in trouble for lots of other things as well IME....not all of them , obviously, but lots of them. Early sexualisation worries me, and I feel that kids lose out on being kids

fastasleep · 23/02/2006 08:33

My cousin (in law? Is there such a thing!) is just gone 7 I think (she might be 6) and all she got for Christmas was make up from everybody, which she thought was great! But the thing is it doesn't look suggestive at all, it depends very much on what kind of make up

Your friend's DD, well that sounds inappropriate, why on Earth is her mother getting boys to chase her?! Is she flipping insane? I'd thwack her with a broom personally. Childhood is important and far too short as it is.

NotActuallyAMum · 23/02/2006 08:41

Totally agree - 10 is far too young. My dsd started wearing bits of make-up about a year ago, she does now wear mascara, eye-liner and eye shadow - but only when we're going out somewhere and she's 13 next week

biglips · 23/02/2006 09:02

i was 7 when i experiementing make up (for a laff) as me and my friend were pretend to be grown ups but i was 14 when i wore make up properly

SD is nearly 7 and had been experimenting makeup since she was 5... we think its far too young too but its normal these days!!

Blandmum · 23/02/2006 09:07

it isn't normal in my house

biglips · 23/02/2006 09:10

BUT sd wears eye shadow and lippy in the house - dp doesnt wants her to wear then outside nad we dont buy her makeup as others do (Xmas & B/days)

Blandmum · 23/02/2006 09:12

I think it is quite sad that she wants to wear make up....is this every day? Or more of a 'play with make up' option?

soapbox · 23/02/2006 09:16

My DD 7 plays with make up in the same way that she plays with hairdressing and wearing jewellery.

I think it would best be described as a more grown up version of dressing up.

It is only glitter powder, pink! eyeshadow and lipgloss.

The only time she wears it outside the house is to a disco party - where she dresses up in disco attire.

I think 10 is much too young for proper makeup. For me becoming a teenager was the time where I was allowed make up. I was only allowed to wear it in very limited circumstances though! I was never allowed to wear it to school and the DCs school do not allow obvious make up either (I think they allow a concealer for spotty faces) - and their school goes all the way through to upper 6th.

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 23/02/2006 09:25

Play make up is fine as long as it is indoors etc, but dsd goes out to play wearing it. When dp told her to wash it off she found it almost impossible because the mascara was that 24 hour waterproof stuff.

Her make up is put on in an adult way and makes her look older. I remember playing around with my Mums lipstick when I was little but this is different, it is more like a teenager thing not a 10 year old IYKWIM.

OP posts:

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 23/02/2006 09:27

I told her she doesn't need make up because she is so pretty without it!

OP posts:

bamboozleslover · 26/07/2006 19:58

i was 11 (Y7) when i started wearing make up ...

Skylight · 08/08/2006 15:28

I think 10 is very young and i think it's dangerous for girls to go out to school and during the weekends dressed so adult. it attracts the wrong kind of attention. I can see why you and your dp are upset about it, i don't think your over reacting at all!

My step daughter is 3 and has been coming to our house with lipstick, foundation and nail varnish on since she was 2 years old! i cant stand it, it's bad for her skin and the nail varnish stains her little fingers and hurts her when i take it off with nail varnish remover. And this is all because her mother wants to dress her like a dolly and puts her in little cheer leading style skirts and belly tops! she's three and should be dressed accordingly in my opinion.

We had so much trouble with this issue because as soon as my SD came round each week i would remove the make up and nail varnish (and still do) but her mother thought that this was awful and told us that we weren't treating her daughter like a little girl and that it was underminiding what she wanted for her little girl. So as punishment she stopped us from seeing my SD every week for 2 months (we were only allowed to see her once every other week instead of the 4 nights a week we usually have her) however she soon went back to our normal routine when she found that she couldn't cope with looking after her full time and when she couldn't go out every weekend because she had no babysitter. But it wasn't till after 2 months that we got her back to 4 nights a week. I couldn't believe that because of a bit of make up my SD's routine and life was turned upside down and me and my partner went through 2 months of hell.

I think me and my partner were right to put our foot down and we would do it again, but i'm amazed that some mothers would go to such lengths to show their power over their children and over the step mum and make thier daughters wear make up when their so young and aren't able to choose this.

I think it's ok to experiment at about 7/8 but i think children shouldnt be wearing proper make up untill their at least 13/14.

lilmamma · 12/08/2006 07:31

My daughter is 13,and she wears a little clear mascara,and a bit of blusher,as she is quite pale,and some lip gloss,i think this is enough,and is quite happy,she says you should see,some of the girls in school.If they wear too much too young like foundation,they will ruin their skin,my auntie used to wear in a big department store,and she said the women on the make up stall,all had problems with their skin as they were touching and making it up all day.I think its just the way of life today,which is sad..

Judy1234 · 13/08/2006 15:45

I'm very against it. My daughters were old - 16+ before they did. I think getting them involved with riding horses, in an all girls school, no boys around etc helped keep them as little girls. no crop tops. Don't buy girlie things like barbies, let them be tom boys. All that stuff helps. The sexualisation of girls at a young age is not good. That said depends on the person. My mother started her periods at 10 in the 1930s and had boys hanging round her at 14 yet my daughter started at 14 so does depend on the child.

colditz · 13/08/2006 16:05

"My daughter is so pretty, look at all the boys chasing her"

I will be warning my sons away from girls with mothers like this - they are the first ones to scream statutory rape when the girl comes home pregnant at 14.

Tortington · 13/08/2006 16:59

my dd wears eyeliner - at weekends only. she is 13.

10 is very young - you must tell her the most beautiful women don't need much make-up. only really fugly tarts need shit loads of make-up becuase they are so fugly. She is soo pretty but no-one can see - they think she must be fugly under that makeup becuase she ears lots of it.

and it will give her spots and make her really ugly

catemary · 17/08/2006 11:41

My dsd has come to our house several times, admittedly when there was a pantomine or party, wearing obvious eyeshadow, blusher, mascara and lipstick. She is 7. I let my girls play with lipgloss etc in the house but they are NEVER allowed out in it. I think this girls' mum is loopy. My other dsd is 14 and has her belly button pierced. I wonder why our teenage pregnancy rate is so high? Sorry, highly cynical comment!!!!!!!

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