What can I do now (devastated)

[Lacrimosa]

Got the confirmation this morning that sd does not want to have any contact with dd ds or dp, only wants to see me. I sat all day crying on and off, what the hell am I supposed to do now?

How old are all the children?

Mine are 4 soon to be 5 and 6 and dsd is 10

Is it more of a stroppy 10yr olds reaction? They are entering that age where they are no longer children but not yet teenagers.

Maybe you could introduce her gradually to your family, just an hour, then little more at a time. No pressure, she may like the fact she is eldest. Maybe you could make her feel important by saying "What do you think is the best dolly for DD?" (thats a rubbish example sorry) Hope you KWIM!

I'm from a step family and it was odd at first, but now I'm used to it and don't even think of the "step-family"

My dsd has not sen her sblings for 2 years now to the extent that mydd does not even remember her(she knows she has a sister) I have been her step mum now for seven years and its getting so hard. Everything was fine up until we moved to be closer to her(previosly 100 miles away)we have been to mediation court, the lot and now I feel really in the middle. Apparently in Scotland once she is eleven she does not need to come to see us and if we goto court she will be 11 before anything is sorted.

oh you poor thing, you sound so stressed out just even in your message.

Has she said why she doesn't want anything to do with you all?

Is your dp her dad?

Yes dp is her dad, I am totaly at a loss of what to do next, up untill 2 years ago I was so close, we used to have her throught the summer hols for weeks on end and now nothing its so hard! I have never posted much about this before because of that same reason. Do we now leave her until she is ready to see us of her own free will or should we push fro it?

In your initial posting you say that your stepdaughter ( forgive me don't understand dd dp ds etc etc....)only wants to see you?

I think you must accept this for now, and try and have meet ups with her on your own....perhaps you talking about some of the things you do together may make her curious as to what it would be like if she were included too?

Just an idea...perhaps you could find out what her favorite past time is, and organise a trip just for her, and then say that your children would have loved to do that too, such a shame they don't know you, because they would love you so much x

Best of luck....I've got my own stepdaughter problems, and this site is a great comfort to me.

Thanks for the advice! Some really good suggestions x I have always called her my sd though dp and I will not be married till next year. She has always called me mum, well since she was 3 and calles her own mum by her first name. Confusing . I know, but when dp and I first got together sd lived with us for months on end without seeing her biological mum. hope hat helps clear it u[p xx

Thanks for the advice! Some really good suggestions x I have always called her my sd though dp and I will not be married till next year. She has always called me mum, well since she was 3 and calles her own mum by her first name. Confusing . I know, but when dp and I first got together sd lived with us for months on end without seeing her biological mum. hope hat helps clear it u[p xx