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Argh no conflict for a week now, two pleasant visits - now this!

8 replies

nambysm · 06/06/2012 22:19

This is bom/wickedsm etc Grin

It's like Mum wants to create conflict out of nothing! DH paid half of DSD's orthadontist bills for the last two years (as you know on top of CM, mobile phone, half of clothes, pocket money etc etc) at over £50 a month. He did so happily. The braces have now come off and DSD's mum has bought the retainer for her which is just over £100. DSD needs to wear it every night but her Mum wont let it leave the house. She says DSD can't be trusted with it (yet can be trusted to carry around the iphone and laptop that DH bought her to and from houses!)
DSD called to say that he needed to buy one for her for when she's here (one night a week if that) DH told her that he would rather dicuss it with her Mum because we are trying desperatly for DSD to avoid being in the middle of things that adults should be dealing with. He doesnt think he should buy a retainer. She is quite capable of bringing it around here and using it. And her Mum has engineered this stupid scenario where Dsd is hardly ever here, then expects us to have a full house of things for her. It's not about her not being able to look after it - its a pathetic atempt at trying to squeeze as much money out of DH as possible, and turning DSD further against him.

Anyway, Mum never called.

Then tonight, a week or so later, DSD calls again telling DH that he must buy her a retainer, she can't believe he is so selfish, how could he deny her medical equipment when her mum has happily paid out etc, etc. He pointed out that it isn't his decision that she can't bring it here but she is absolutely incapable of conceiving even the teeniest thought that her Mum could be in the wrong... ever. So it must all be dad's fault.

So the drama is back. I feel cross for me, hurt for DH, but most importantly - sad for this little girl getting stuck in the middle again because of her pathetic excuse for a mother being unable to behave like a normal human being.

Grrrr.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
nambysm · 06/06/2012 23:18

And surprise, surprise, the texts have continued. Thanks - really great on our first night of our week off without the kids.

OP posts:
Lostinsuffolk · 06/06/2012 23:44

I know it's hard but ignore the phone, open a bottle of wine and as we would say here 'smile and wave boys!' reply when ur ready and not before ;) x

NotaDisneyMum · 07/06/2012 00:07

I can only sympathise - but, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

It might get darker for a bit - as you know, my DP and his DD were completely estranged at one point - but, against all expectation - DSD is now seeing her mum without the rose tinted spectacles. It's early days for them but I can give you hope that it will get better Wink

nambysm · 07/06/2012 00:09

Thanks guys. What's the update on all of that nadm?

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NotaDisneyMum · 07/06/2012 08:36

I'll post an update later - it's been an interesting few weeks!

nambysm · 07/06/2012 09:19

I'll look forward to it Grin

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nambysm · 07/06/2012 13:52

Dsd seems to be over her little paddy yesterday as has now been on the phone begging dad for money to buy my dd a birthday present because she has spent all her money on having her hair done. The call was followed by one from mum, then another from mum... They are both stating that that dsd is worried about "looking bad" this is a common theme with the two if them - they both want to be free to be completely selfish but are terrified of looking selfish. They will put the onus on to dad to redeem any bad behaviour and if he doesn't then HE is the one at fault.
I've bought my dd a fairly expensive present and have said from the start it will be from me, dh and dsd so contrary to mums claims she is not being left out, dd won't even know.
Annoyingly in between all this I was upstairs and text dsd to say can she please remember to get her dad a fathers day present and I will reimburse her up to a tenner. So I feel like I've made dh look cheap - even though what he is doing is teaching her a lesson like a parent should. I've no regard for teaching her a lesson I just can't bear for him not to have a fathers day present when mum got a 60 pound bag for mothers day Sad
No response to the text by the way ungrateful little madam

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nambysm · 07/06/2012 14:09

So annoyed that she hasn't text back. I also text last night to say did she want to see snow white with me tomorrow night and she just text back "seen it"
I wouldn't care but her mum and friends and family on mums side all get instant responses and heaps of kisses and things.
Not sure how I've ended up here again- six months ago I resigned to not offer anything to her unless I was happy to give it without thanks. I seem to have slipped back a bit. Sad

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