As a step parent fo you both parent all kids

[confuseddotcomm]

Or do you each parent mainly your own (with the back up and support of the other). I'm talking particularly about discipline. (obviously if you are the only adult there you take the lead)

I do loads of 'parenting', I'm a SAH(S)M to DSS and DS. We've basically said we don't expect DSS to feel like I am his parent, but he has to do what I say because I am one the adults responsible for looking after him. We also said when he is being looked after by GPs or whatever he is expected to do what they say.

Sometimes DSS kicks against me, but I do think it would be impossible if I had to refer to DP every ten minutes - would I have to ring him at work to get him to tell DSS off? So I just get on with it. Also I have no idea how much DSS would kick against his mum/dad if it were them asking him to do the things I do anyway - one of the hardest things I have found is how to tell what is about being 8 and what is about being my stepson. DSS is no more keen on washing up when asked by either his parents from what I see!

I have PR for DSS, this has helped me as I now have legal authority to take him to doctors, talk to teachers alone etc, which makes it a lot easier to get on with the jobs that need doing and make sure he is getting what he needs.

Ratbagcatbag Hahaha, I recognise a little of what you say from here!

I don't have kids if my own but I'm an equal parent in my own house. Possibly because my stepsons were only four and 12mths when I met them.

A lot is due to their mother. At a recent Senco meeting for DSS1 she was happy for me to go along explaining later that it's best for him if we're all singing from the same hymn sheet. Perhaps if she was the jealous irrational type I would hold back a bit more.