Oh to hell with it, what's the point? Horrific day, after great weekend

[chelen]

I haven't even got the will to type it up, it was just a shocking, shitty day. Awful. We have two nice days and then, as always at the end of the weekend, we get the backlash.

DSS has royally ruined his own day, he's ended up in bed 1.5 hours early in a total bad mood, but DP and I had no bloody option, it was push push push, test test test all day.

I love him, but grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I need ... and I don't even drink! I have a cake just baked and am going to eat the entire thing now.

[marvels at a SM that doesn't drink]

How shit for you.

I know how you feel, it's like a black cloud took residence over your house isn't it?

You've just summed up every weekend that my SC are with us so lots of sympathy and understanding from me.

I was actually wondering today if its just me or does every SM end up locking themselves in their room at some point of every access weekend to escape from the chaos/frustration/stroppyness/insults/tantrums (delete as appropriate).

I don't drink either so does that make me weird or unique? [Wink)

Poor you. Everytime i stray onto step parents it reminds me that living apart from my DP is a small price to pay for domestic harmony - and our DC all get along!

I couldn't get through the SC weekends without my
Smiling - I save a big pile of ironing (which has to be done in my room with the door shut and the TV on) for these weekends. It comes to something when I would rather do the ironing

Kaluki I suddenly remember some paperwork that must be done by monday or an urgent email from a client comes through which I just have to deal with which means I have to take my laptop into my room to get some uninterrupted work done

DP is on to me but DSC haven't worked it out yet, sometimes that 30mins alone with MN, a book or crappy tv makes me a much better SM and partner

Elasta, I think initially there is a novelty factor of a stepfamily being together that often doesn't last when it becomes more routine i.e day to day living.

My dss is now part of a big step family (as his mum's new b/f has children) and it was all fun in the beginning - new people to play with but a year down the line the novelty has worn off and the differences appear. You can resolve the differences but I read somewhere that making a stepfamily work is the hardest job that 2 parents can do.

Chelen, poor you - step parenting is the hardest job so only the toughest survive;)

Thanks all, it's good to vent and so few people understand how tough it is.

Poor DSS did explain why he was so arsey challenging at the end of the weekend, I can't post details as it's his business but in brief he is dreading going to his mum's next weekend for a specific reason and it isn't something we can influence (and it wouldn't really be appropriate to either as it is an issue between them, they need to work it out, except mum won't have the conversation with him, so I guess it's a bit of an impasse) so we'll just have to ride it out and look after him as best we can in between managing the tantrums.

Before anyone says, yes, we have alerted mum to the problem but she says it isn't a problem so ultimately, we are all stuck until DSS either gets angry enough to raise it with her (rather than just being grumpy here), or accepts it/gets over it, or she has a personality transplant rethinks her approach.

Maybe time to rethink my no habits?

"I read somewhere that making a stepfamily work is the hardest job that 2 parents can do"

Smum99 - well said! I also read that a step family shaking down can take up to 7 years! In my case, the eldest DSS will be about to leave home, just as he's shaken down!!!

Part of the reason (I think) why it is so hard is because actually it takes more than just the 2 parents. I think it goes smoothest when all the parents are involved and acting in the children's best interests. In my case, that's me, DP, DP's exW, her DP, my exH and his DW as well. No easy feat... and not always successful....