DH back to court next week - nervous

[balia]

DH got a contact order (finally) about 5 years ago but we've applied for holiday contact. The current order gives DSS 1 extra daytime per week of the holidays (something we agreed to in an attempt to avoid a contested hearing, some hope).

We're asking for the standard half holidays, 2 weeks in the summer. It seems like a fairly straightforward thing (DSS is going on a residential trip with school next month, so he'll actually go away with the school longer than he has been with his Dad!) but DSS's mum has MH issues and is very difficult to deal with so am dreading a return to the days of court hearings, accusations etc etc.

DH is going it alone, too - he always at least had a McKenzie friend before - but we really can't afford it, what with court fees as well...so 'tis all a bit scary. Hand holding would be lovely. Also - anyone with recent court experience? Has anything changed since last time we were there?

Balia, Sometimes court is the only way if an parent won't be reasonable.It's not reasonable to withhold holiday contact so I imagine this will be granted.

I know I dreaded the court date on the lead up but it was largely a non event i.e judge awarded contact (which for years the ex had been withholding for one reason or another). Our only regret is that we didn't do it sooner.

Good luck - I can relate to the feeling of dread but keep in mind you are being reasonable so therefore it's likely to be positive for you.

We could hold each other's hands - my DH is also back to court at the end of the month, having requested residence. They were in court just before Christmas when the judge totally rubbished the ex, this is hopefully the final part now that the CAFCASS report is in. We were told that we had a good case so I guess it's a case of trusting those whose expertise we're paying for... I'm off to google McKenzie now, yes it does all add up, doesn't it!

Gosh, good Luck, bonnymiffy hope all goes well. Is it a final hearing at the end of the month?

Thanks Smum99 we do cling on to the idea that it is only reasonable, but we have compromised given in on so many things, like Christmas contact and twice daily phone calls that you sort of lose your perspective? And DSS would love to go on holiday with us - even if we don't get to take him on our family holiday abroad, we're hoping he'll get to spend real quality time with us. Fingers crossed.

Oh I hope your court experience goes like ours. The judge quickly awarded the contact that was requested (since it's the norm), the ex answered back and she got a very, very stern telling off from judge:)

The only thing that I wasn't prepared for was the backlash from the ex, in hindsight she ramped up parental alienation from that point onwards. We had thought that DSS shouldn't be involved in the details of court but we didn't bank on the ex fabricating her side of the story. She told dss that she only conceded contact after DH physically forced her to agree. I am still shocked by the depths she would sink to 'win'. Just something to be beware.

Been there, had all that the last time! The most amazing array of bizarre accusations. However, when she admitted to the judge that when she said certain things it was as a 'result of magical thinking' DH breathed a sigh of relief! And as DSS is now 10 he now knows his Mum has some funny ideas.

However, as she does have MH issues we daren't hope that we'll get by without a Cafcass report, we're just hoping we don't have to fork out for another psychiatric report (last one cost ££££).

DH spoke to Cafcass today - they said they would push to get it sorted swiftly as DSS is in the middle of it all and much more aware, so they would try for a 'wishes and feelings' report rather than a full thing (as all the previous issues have been dealt with and it is a single issue really).

DH seems to think this is hopeful. Anyone know what a 'wishes and feelings' will involve? (Apart from the obvious).

Hi Balia, any news yet? I realise that "next week" in your op has come and gone.
DSS was interviewed by CAFCASS for "wishes and feelings", which is basically just that - what he thinks of the situation, what he would like to happen. They also interviewed DH and his ExP (all separately) and then compiled a report based on what was said with her conclusions and recommendations at the end.
DH has steered clear of rubbishing his ex, however she hasn't exactly held back on what she thinks of him! I think this makes DH the "bigger person" but who knows? As for me, I can't wait for all the uncertainty to be over...

Thanks for asking bonnymiffy - fairly good, although we do have to have a full section 7 so will take much longer. Judge said that ex was to come up with an offer of holiday contact for this summer, though, and if she didn't we have a review hearing in a month and he'll order some so DH was really, really pleased about that. I can't believe it myself.

However, DH said it was dreadful for him, he was so nervous and stressed out he could barely speak and so it looks like we will have to find a MK from somewhere. A friend has volunteered, but not sure if she can get time off work.

Is your case looming?