Would you go on holiday without DSC?

[missduff]

So me and DP have been together for 2&1/2 years, I have DS who was just a baby when we met so DP is like his dad, DP has 2 kids age 5 and 7 and we're expecting our first baby together.
In our time together we've never had a holiday together as it would mean going in school holidays which we just can't afford and as a child from a broken home myself I know i didn't like it much when my dad went on holiday without us so I've always said that we shouldn't go away without them.
BUT this year is going to be the last year I can take my DS away outside of school holidays as he'll start school next year and the idea of a few days away when baby is little is quite appealing, beats sitting around at home washing bottles and going to playgroups talking about babies day in day out.
So now I'm wondering whether it would really be so bad if we just got a cottage somewhere for a few days?
Basically we either get a cheap break just the 4 of us or we don't get a holiday at all.
The inlaws are taking DP and his 2 to Disneyland next month so they will still get a holiday with their dad this year but I still don't want them to feel left out if we take my DS and baby away.

[taxiforme]

Hi

Go Go GO and have a lovely time!!

YES, absolutely- have time away on your own. Your DSC are still very young and won't be thinking "boo hoo they have not taken us" particularly as they have a holiday to Disney to look forward to. I am not sure that, at their age they would be capable of such negative feelings towards you, esp if you bring them a little pressi back and also involve them outside of the holiday problem with the new baby. They will be FINE!!


I have three DSC and they are all school age teenagers, I have none of my own. The shock of the cost of taking them away in August has knocked my socks off and we are relatively comfortably off.

[ladydeedy]

I agree - go. This will be your last opportunity for years!! Like taxiforme, I have DSC but none of my own and the cost is eyewatering once you have to book in the school holidays!
Kind of got used to it now but even so, it is painful!

[missduff]

Yes I think I was naive to the true expense of half term holidays, there was me thinking 'oh we'll just get a caravan for a week' but even that is really expensive, plus there's the expense of the days out etc and with them being that bit older they're always asking for money for this and that which annoyingly DP always just gives them (but that's a different story)!

I think my main concern is just whether it's fair to take my DS but not them?

We were going to go camping in August but now as baby is due in August that can't happen, and I don't fancy sleeping on an air bed at 8 months pregnant or taking a newborn camping so i don't think changing the dates would really be an option either.
But hopefully we'll go camping next year.

[olibeansmummy]

Yes go! They are having a holiday anyway. Do they even need to know?

[missduff]

I had wondered if we would need to tell them but as they usually come every weekend and midweek plus there's football training too then we'd need to tell them something. DS will be 3 by then and he's very talkative, there's no way he wouldn't say something but I had wondered if we should maybe just say we're going to stay with some family or friends of mine. 7 yo is a right nosey thing so she will ask lots of questions.

I've found some cheap deals to centre parcs in January so I'm gonna suggest that to DP tonight, it's only 4 nights so we don't need to feel too guilty and then we can all go camping next August

[Bonkerz]

We generally have one holiday with DSD and one without every year (cheap UK in caravan)

[thewickedestSMinthewest]

If the three year old is happy to miss out on a week at Disneyland while his step-siblings (or half-sblings, sorry I've got confused!) go later in the year then I think the older children should be able to cope with the others going for a week in cornwall (or wherever!)

I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to go. Based on the fact that they are having a holiday. If they weren't then I might feel differently.

[purpleroses]

Do the DSC go away with their mum at all? DP and I usually try and get the odd short break to ourselves to tie in with when his kids and mine are off with their other parents. Maybe you could find a bit of time the week following a school holiday or something that would overlap a bit with when their mum is away with them? The other thing to do is to do things on holiday that maybe your DSC wouldn't be too fussed by.

[missduff]

No in all the time I've known them their mum has never taken them away, not even a weekend at Pontins, she usually goes on holiday with friends and leaves the kids with DP (mum of the year!)

[Kaluki]

Oh I would LOVE to go away without the stepkids but it will never happen and tbh I would feel bad going away with the steps and leaving mine behind so its not very fair to ask DP to go away without them.
BUT in your case you have the perfect reason. The DSC are going to Disneyland without your DS so its only fair that you all have a break with your DS so he isn't left out.
Enjoy - I am so