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DSD and money, AIBU here?

2 replies

midori1999 · 01/04/2012 22:31

DSD is almost 20 and will start her second year of uni in Sept. We have been unable to help her much financially, but give her a small allowance each month into her bank account, which covers her mobile phone bill. She gets a student loan.

She's not great with money and has an overdraft which the bank won't increase. This is due to over spending, not not having enough cash to get by. She rang last week and mentioned to DH that she was moving to a new house in Sept and the deposit was £600, but the rent was reasonable. later that day her Mum rang and asked DH if he could pay half the deposit as DSD didn't have it. Her Mum had £300 saved for her which she gave her towards the deposit. It later turned out that DSD had borrowed the full £600 from her boyfriend's parents.

This weekend DSD rang DH and asked to borrow £80, which she 'desperately needed' and would ask if she didn't apparently. It turns out that she told DH that the £80 was to pay friends back for booking trains/hotel for a weekend away in a few weeks time. Her student loan is due in a few weeks and she says she will pay him back out of that.

We have lent her the money on the condition she pays it back. I can't help feeling mean about that though, but I feel it will be a good lesson for her to learn. She left her weekend job even though she was offered a transfer to where she is at uni and has now turned down a job offer for Disney over the summer.

We will have a bit of extra money by the end of the year and so we have told her that if she gets a job we will increase her allowance a bit as we will be able to afford to. We are hoping this will encourage her to get a part time job. Her Mum is really awful with money and due to serious over spending now faces losing her house. We are both worried DSD will end up being the same.

Are we BU in what we have suggested? Any other suggestions as to what we could do to encourage her to be more responsible finacially, or are we just going to have to let her get on with it?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ChocHobNob · 02/04/2012 09:35

Sounds fine to me. She borrows money, she has to pay it back.

Lostinsuffolk · 02/04/2012 21:56

I agree with chochobnob. Maybe try to sit her down and go through basic budgeting skills with her and point out that ur not a bank and that u can't keep bailing her out when she overspends. Sadly the parent she spends most of the time with will be a role model when it comes to her attitude to money, so unless u put n extra time teaching her to get a grip on her financial issues, she will live her life struggling to get by like her mum. I defo don't think ur mean. Life is tough and money doesn't grow n trees as we all know!!

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