Pissed off with dh .its all getting a bit Disney.

[droves]

Dh and I have dss this weekend . It's our weekend. It took years to convince dh that dss needed a regular time to come , so everyone knows what's happening .

Dss has ADHD , so routeen is important to his behaviour. Our youngest has asd ...again routeen helps her with everyday life.

Dss has been misbehaving at school , and is on a behaviour book. Teacher leaves comments on his behaviour that day....so far it's working and he's been doing great .

Yesterday dss told me that he's naughty sometimes when he's bored....he hardly has time with dh alone....so I've been nagging dh to spend some time with just dss. Finally I felt I'd won a tiny battle as dh's took dss to the golf range to play kids golf (they get 100 balls each and can bat them all over ) . It was the first day out dh has has with dss in ages.
Just to clarify ...dh has never had a solo day out with ds4 or dd4 .( our twins) and they are nearly 7 .

He also rarely gives the twins pocket money .

Dh brought dss home from golf and they were both excited ..then dh showed me in front of ds4 the new track suit he bought for dss . Said it would be his pocket money for the month. £ 60 track suit.

Dh only buys for our twins at birthdays or Xmas. And hardly ever gives them pocket money. Can't actually remember the last time dh gave the twins pocket money.

So needles to say I'm furious with dh . Fair enough have one to one time with his lad because it will do the world of good for the wee chap ....but a £60 track suit as pocket money for the month ? And nothing for the wee ones ?

Have told dh he's a shit , all the children should be treated equally or not at all.

Last week I took dss , and dtwins to toy shop , for a little treat and reward for good behaviour from them all dss got a £20 toy from me , twins had smaller things , but what they chose and my big ones got money earlier that week for phone top ups . So all the children had equal from me (roughly) .

Because we were arguing , dinner was late . I took 4 of my kids in the car to get McDonald's for all of them ...on returning home i find that dh had left and took dss to mcdonalds and just bought dss one. Again he buys for his child and I buy for all the children ! < grr>

Am I a being a wicked step mother here or is dh out of order ?

Tell me your honest opinions , don't be kind here ,

I think dh is a problem , not dss !

I feel ur pain. That would drive me nuts I'm afraid. As its late and I'm tired I'll cut to the chase. U have to parent as a team and from what u've said he needs to grow a pair and step up to the plate and be a dad. U can't do it all. I personally think there should be no difference between skids or kids. It's a toughy as u have to challenge him abut his parenting behaviour without telling him off. Try to be positive and point out what he's missing by no time alone with his kids. If u go in too hard ur dictating to him how he should parent which isn't right but if u let him carry on, his kids won't know him and will not respect him or eventually want to spend time with him! Equality is the way forward but few of us achieve itn 100% but if u try the rewards will be enormous. That's something money can't buy. I'm sure others will be past to offer u more advice. Good luck and I hope it gets better for u. :)

I totally get the kids won't respect him bit .

His oldest two , now only contact him when they want something. Only the other day he was saying how upset he is because dd1 & ds1 never calls him just to see how he is , it's only when he contacts themthat they talk. ( unless they wants something).

Really sad actually.

Its driving me nuts , he's just doing the same again with dss ,as he did with his adult kids and I can see it going the same way.