Solicitor

[Banan20]

Ok just wanting a rant mainly.
Hubby has contact (agreed to be but isn't:every other weekend and half holidays) with children and they are great but ex is constantly messing and obstructing contact so it is actually far less than this. It's so frustrating as we can't book anything for fear of losing out if changes are made. When ex doesn't get her own way she just threatens to stop all contact.
So after trying many different ways to resolve this we finally decided to employ a solicitor - found one who seamed to get everything we wanted and said he could help. Role on a couple months and we feel he is no longer bothered.
Long story short solicitor is now saying just be gratefully you see the kids as some dads don't even get every other weekend.
We have empathy and feel so bad for parents who have it worse but does that mean we should accept less than what has been agreed and what is equal. The children are constantly begging to stay longer and can't understand why they can't.

I think it's like saying to someone in a wheelchair don't expect the same wage as Your non wheelchair colleagues because some disabled people can't get a job so just be grateful for minimum wage.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh feels so much better to rant.

The first solicitor that DP saw was like this, he said (and I quote) 'be grateful for any scraps of contact your exW throws your way'!!!!!

DP changed solicitors - actually went to one who was recommended for abused women - and she/her team were brilliant and secured far more contact than DP could have hoped for (exW was offering one night EOW, and he got 4, plus half of all holidays )

Keep trying and don't give up

Hi am new to MN but u shld change solicitor. DP had similar problem with exw but his solicitor stuck with it and access is good for us but exw still refuses to swap weekends as she claims it's not good for the kids. Funny thing is she will ask us to swap when it suits her. Keep fighting as kids deserve to have a mum and a dad that they can spend time with. :)

Your solicitor is not acting in the child's best interests so change.The children's act was put in place to protect the child's right to see both parents. It's not the parents right to see the child.

Children who have good relationships with both parents develop into mature adults (I truly, truly believe this and have older dc's so know from actual experience). To develop a good relationship you need to spend time, not just holiday time as that is unlike normal life.
If the mother is blocking contact get a court involved to order contact. If your solicitors hasn't done this in months then get rid.
Process should be - mum gets letter to request formal contact, explains that it has not be regular as agreed, give examples. Ask for mediation to resolve. If mediation fails then off to court. It will be straightforward, no more than 20 mins infront of a judge if no welfare issues. If you get an agreement, get it put into an order than the court can finalise as you then have more ability to enforce.

DH's ex blocks contact - we had to go to court, it worked well. Now that DSS is a teen he is pleased his dad fought for him. An ex who blocks contact (without good reason) is usually put their selfish needs ahead of the children.

Smum99 spot on with advice. Only addition to that would be prepare ur self for the cost. It's not cheap but absolutely the right thing to do and worth it in the end.