Pedantic? Much?

[NotaDisneyMum]

One of DSS particularly annoying habits is to stand either very very close to me while I am preparing food, or to stand in the middle of the kitchen, expecting me to circulate around him.

I've learn to deal with the former by not accommodating for his close proximity and if he gets elbowed while I am slicing/dicing or his foot trodden on, then perhaps he'll learn The latter is more of a problem, as he will stand in one spot for 20 - 30 minutes, silently, without any interaction with anyone if no-one speaks to him. Earlier today I decided on the direct approach and asked DSS? Please could you not stand in the middle of the kitchen while I'm preparing lunch? You are in the way.

His reply?
Well, I'm not actually in the exact middle of the kitchen...... Aggghhhhh!

Are anyone else's DSC candidates for pedants corner?

DSS1 and 2 are both space takers and doorway loiterers, not stepping to one side when they can clearly see you are heading for the door so you have to unnecessarily stop and say "excuse me" and wait for them to then heave themselves up from leaning position to actually step aside.

DSS2 has the added pedant streak, - it's all about being "right" or having the last word. I do believe I have had that exact conversation with him as you have had with yours, and mine ended in "okay, wherever you are in the kitchen you are in the way, so unless you are about to unload or load the dishwasher then sod off out of the kitchen"

DH actually had a 20 minute conversation once with him about the mechanics of how it would actually look if a spider had indeed crawled all over his homework with a biro strapped to each leg, - this followed his criticism of his handwriting you understand

Same here, my DSD appears to have no personal space issues and the "last word issue" that Fenton mentioned.

Her worst habit is when you are speaking to somone who is a "stranger" or "official" (eg a decorator coming round the house to give a quote, or if we are checking in on a flight/picking up a hire car ect ect) she will position herself (in the case of the flight) right at the apex of the desk so no one (ie me who has the tickets) can do anything regarding checking in. I ask her to move and she moves a tiny bit to the side so I can just about reach over and hand in the tickets/passports. I had to tell her that if she did not move to one side away from the desk we would not be going. With the decorator, she followed us around the house listening to every word that was said FFS.

She is 14 and lots going on in her head, poss a bit on the autistic spectrum too?

Oh and they've also both adopted the word "clearly" as a type comment.

e.g: DSS2, it's your turn to clean your shower-room,

:No it "clearly" isn't.   (with no back-up as to why it so clearly isn't)

taxiforme - I've wondered about ASD, too; DSS is only eight, though, so it may well be just immaturity

I know that he is left out of a lot at his mums where he spends most of his time, but he has mastered the art of listening at doors, but more often that not will blatantly stand and listen to adult conversations.

I'm guessing he's not the only one to have honed his asking stupid questions skills as well? Yesterdays winner was "Why has this chair got a hole in it?". I'd had enough and am suffering from PMT by then so I asked him what gave him the impression that his Dad knows everything?

Sounds exactly like hte sort of thing my DS would say (or my DP's DS1 either). Best approach I think is to introduce him to the concept of being pedantic, and why it winds people up as early as possible and in a fairly direct manner I think. Spell out what you might expect other people just to pick up - as he possibly isn't picking up on subtle signals that he's annoying other people. Eg - "when I said you were in the way, I meant....". And then find him a chair and a place to sit so that he can be in your company if that's what he wants without being in the way. Or some of the time say "run and play now, I need some peace and quiet to get lunch ready" or whatever.

My DS is now less bad than he used to be at being pedantic (and even picks up DP for it sometimes ). But some kids need things explaining very literally.

oh God disney you are talking about my DSD.

Middle child, left out at home where she spends most of her time (fat when the others are all thin, not good at sports in a house where sport is king for instance), very immature, really affected by the divorce 6 years ago- as for the listening at doors and blatantly..YES!! She stands there with her mouth open (is she taking the info back home to mum? Taxi has spent £1000 on farrow and ball paint!!! lol). She also has a very very odd thing about where evryone sits (at the table, in the car, on rollercoasters, on the school bus) she already has it woked out in her head where she is (and everyone else is sitting) on her school trip in 4 weeks time.

We also get the stupid question and answer routine "..why are you working Taxi? Because you are stupid" She will say.

Also few friends as she is immature and they are young women.

taxi - you've given me an idea now; I'm tempted to plan some exotic holidays, luxury spa days and expensive jewellery purchases within his hearing

We know that DSD actively shared everything that happened here with her mum usually by text as it was happening - but I hadn't fully considered the possibility that DSS might have taken over that particular role now he is older

YES!!!!

FFS, of all the horrible behaviours DSS could be learn from his bioM, unfortunately it had to be pedantry and last-word-ism. Drives me batty. Of course, those two have nothing on the lying to get out of being in trouble issue. (Learned that from You-Know-Who as well.) Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

could be learning OR could learn

ah-hem.

Not sure if this is a similar thing.... but my SD drives me crazy with this.... she will be walking through a room ... (bearing in mind there is plenty of space open plan etc etc...) she will walk right upto the ends of my toes and shout "EXCUSE MEEEE!"
To which she expects me to move aside and let her pass!

Which i dont.! I tell her walk round me then, theres plenty of room for you to get passed!.... Just lately though i have started to be a bit sarcastic with it cos it f*ing annoys the hell out of me!! now i say..." anybody would think your bum was 8feet wide all the space you need to get passed me!

Which makes anyone near by smirk or laugh....even her dad (ops! bit bad)
But why do they need to do these things?

I mean its not like we dont know they are there!!

Is he on the autistic spectrum or just.... A little odd?

Dolly no suggestion of ASD developmentally although he is very literal - I'm starting to think that is an act though, to wind people up

I've just given DP an earbashing as DSS managed to manipulate him this morning resulting in me being totally undermined - I'm feeling very much the wicked SM today

My Dss (11) is like this he sits on the worktops while I am cooking etc and always stands in door ways or in the way it drives me mad!
He is also permenantly surgically attached to my DH he's practially on his lap even when my DH goes to the loo or for a shower he stands by the door. I just find it odd.
We went for a walk yesterday and he threw a strop coz he couldnt walk next to my Dh as the pavement was too narrow!
He also listens to adult conversations and asks how much everything costs! it drives me mad I just want to say 'it's none of your effing business!', he just relays it all back to his mother.
Jesus I don't ask how much his mother spends on food shopping etc. I've also put some bits on ebay and I said to my DH x has sold thats good and DSS immediately piped up with how much did you get for that.
He even asked me how much I get paid last week!

DSD is a space invader too. She follows me or DP everywhere (I mean everywhere) even when we go to toilet she waits outside. Yesterday morning I had a shower and went in my room to get dressed and I could actually hear her breathing outside my bedroom door, it makes me feel so claustrophobic. If I go anywhere near her Dad she will make sure she is in between us. She is insecure, poor girl, and has her issues but it is sooooo wearing.
Something else that worries me a bit is that she constantly wants a hug, and will go up to people she hardly knows and say "can I have a hug?" expecting them to pick her up and hug her. She is 7 and quite frankly I find that just wierd. My brother felt really awkward when he first met her and she did this, it seems unnatural to want a perfect stranger to hug you (and could be dangerous too if she does it to the wrong person !).
She so desperately craves attention but it seems the more she gets the more she wants/needs.

kaluki yes - definitely, DSS seems to crave more and more attention the mire he gets!
We try so hard to balance time one-to-one along with family time and time for DSS and DD together but it feels like we never get it right! If DP spends a morning with DSS, he then becomes a Clingon for the rest of the weekend!

My SS is like this.

If he is standing there in the kitchen though and loitering whilst I am making dinner, I get him to do something (wash up, prepare vegetables, unload the dishwasher, take the rubbish out, etc). That has resulted in him making himself slightly more scarce as he knows if he gets too close there's a job he'll end up doing. Use it to your advantage and get him to do things for you! He'll soon get fed up!