One step forward, three back

[NotaDisneyMum]

DSS has regressed again

He was fine when he arrived, but since getting home from school yesterday his behaviour has been that of a much younger child and he has stopped interacting with me again

We know that previously this has been linked to his mums open hostility about DP and me - but recently, she seemed to have got better. But, last week, DP had to explain to her that until he found work, his financial support for the DCs would be lower and any limited support he did offer would be from my earnings.

Coincidence?

I'm thinking probably not a coincidence!?

I'm sorry to hear this, it sounded so positive after the counselling. Has he finished or is he still going? Thought maybe the counsellor could help him over this latest bit.

My DP just read the first line of your OP and thought I'd posted it, so you are not the only one struggling with these ups and downs! I know it's easy to say but remember it is no reflection on you and what you're doing.

DsS last session was a few weeks ago - during which both parents spent time with him and the cllr and DPs ex said that she felt that she had 'turned a corner' regarding DPs involvement in the DCs life.

It's just so frustrating - Longer periods of counselling aren't recommended for DCs as young as DSS, so we're all stuck in this cycle

The counselling is really good, I would highly recommend it - but the school of thought seems to be that for younger DC's it needs to be in short courses, with several months in between, so that the DC's don't begin to wonder if they will ever "get better".

It's totally different in the US, where having a therapist is a normal part of life - but here in the UK, if counselling is sought (and many people including DSS mum see it as a sign of weakness) it is to "fix" a particular problem; once the problem is fixed, you stop going.

The issue we have is that the counselling benefits are being "undone" by DSS mum afterwards; although she claims to have moved on from resenting DP's role in the DC's life, the fact that DSS has regressed again suggests that he is suffering from conflict about being here