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Step-parenting

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Am I a really bad person?

3 replies

Nelli30 · 21/01/2006 12:08

Hi everyone. I posted on here quite a while ago. My situation is briefly: Married yr and 1/2 ago, My husband has 7yr daughter. Ex wife is bananas. We are trying for a baby and have been for the past 2 yrs, we've been together for 3yrs. Ex wife had an affair, Husband left 4 1/2 yrs ago. Ex wife re-married, had another baby, ex-wifes sister has just had twins, and husband and I just had a miscariage last week.

Basically I feel angry , cheated, that life is unfair, the whole why us question is floating round and round my head. The whole she seems to get everything she wants (except my husband)is also in my head. Shes moved to a detached house, new car etc...etc... and all I really want is a family of our own.

We have sd this weekend, she is great, we get on great and I'm very fond of her. but I have found myself trying to detach myself this weekend as I have found it very painful. SD rang her mum last night and was talking 'babytalk' to her sibling and also stated she wanted to go home today as the twins were visiting and she wanted to see them (although this morning she has decided to stay)...I know I sound bitter, but listening to all this just really saddens me because for a week I thought at last this is what we would have, our own family and SD would be ringing us up wanting to know about her sister/brother as part of our family. Now I have written it in black and white I can see that it all sounds so petty - I think I've answered my own question. Maybe not a bad person just in a bad place at the moment. I know sd behaviour is perfectly natural but I just feel like crying - pathetic aren't I?
My husband has been great and really supportive, but at the end of the day he wants to have fun and enjoy his daughter which is obviously natural but I just feel so very sad when I hear them and watch them together. I'm sure it will all get better but I just needed to get all this off my chest.

OP posts:
colditz · 21/01/2006 12:11

\You have just had a miscarriage - even if I was going to judge you, it would not be now. I am not surprised you are feeling a bit bitter and very sad

My heart goes out to you.

Carmenere · 21/01/2006 12:18

You said it yourself not bad just a feeling a little sad at the moment. Stop torturing yourself. Try to distract yourself with shopping, cinema, book or something a little bit indulgent. It's a testament to you that your dsd is happy and relaxed in your house. this is a strong indication that you are going to be a great mum when your time comes.

Squirrel3 · 21/01/2006 12:57

No wonder you feel sad and cheated. I am so sorry this has happened to you, don't be hard on yourself, give yourself time.

I really feel for you, I wish I could say something wise and helpful but I can't find the words. Please know that what you are feeling is completely understandable and normal.

Keep talking if it helps, I am thinking of you.

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