legal situation of DSS coming to live with us?

[USBstick]

Very prolonged back story, but it looks like my DSS (8yrs) may be coming to live with us (DSD staying with her Mum along with her other 3 kids). He wants to come and his mother is blaming him for everything that goes wrong in her house and life. He's being bullied at school, has no friends and continually asks to live with his Dad and me. We have a DD of 2yrs at home. Besides the practical things we're going to have to sort - he will need care from 6.30am from 6.30pm as both me and his Dad work very long hours (DD is in full time nursery) - either of us not working or changing hours at the moment is not an option, we need the money. I'm presuming we're going to have to find a childminder for before and after school. Anyway, aside from practicalities, if this does happen I want to know it's done properly and legally - she is the sort of person who will change her mind 3 mths down the line and phone the police and say that he's been kidnapped etc.
Can anyone help with advice as to what we need to get in place to ensure we're protected from this? Obviously if he wanted to go back then that's fine, but we really want to ensure everything is above board to stop any maliciousness. Thanks.

Is there a residency order in place at the moment? Does your DP have parental responsibility?
I'd suggest you pop along to a good family law solicitor - it needn't cost too much but worth it for the peace of mind.

I'd be cautious of giving your DSS free reign to choose where he lives - it can lead to a yoyo situation where DCs swap homes depending on which parent is the 'fun one' and offers most incentives - not good for them or you

no residency order. he does have parental responsibility. if he came, it would be made very clear to all involved that the intention would be for it to be forever with no going back - don't want to go through arranging schools, childminders etc for it to change two months down the line. we are also intending to move about 300 miles away in a couple of yrs (currently c25miles away). have no idea how we're going to afford it if it happens (childcare), I suspect DP's maintenance wouldn't drop much if at all (his ex is single parent with 5 kids who does no work so i suspect would not have to pay us, plus DSD would still be with her). i suspect a lawyer is the way forward. nothing is simple or easy!

Well no - removing a young child from their primary family home shouldn't be 'easy' , imo.
If there are good reasons for the change, then CAFCASS will recommend to the court that your DP is awarded residency - but they will take into account your plan to move away from his mum & siblings as well

Thanks - we will consult with a lawyer.
I suppose I wasn't thinking of it as "removal" (which is my mind suggests some degree of disagreement, although perhaps it doesn't in family courts?), as he wants to come, his mother has continually told him that she hates him and doesn't want him there and that (subject to everything being arranged and above board), we'd be happy to have him.

The courts primary consideration will be the Childs welfare - and at 8 years old, they won't place as much weight on what your DSS wants as an older child.
They will consider lots of issues - including your DH work commitments etc. They might suggest that his mum attends a parenting programme in order to improve the situation, rather than uproot him.

Of course if you agree it privately, then that's up to you - but it doesn't give you the legal protection you are seeking as his mum could change her mind

My DSD came to live with us when she was 6, DD was 4 months old. It was originally a mutual agreement with DSDs Mum. She changed her mind about three months down the line and we ended up having a custody battle through the courts. We now have a residency order so things are settled... However my understanding is that we would be a bit restricted in moving that far away, so if it was a mutual agreement I would get her to sign something which says she knew about your plans and approves... I can't imagine it will have any legal standing but if you do get custody and she tries to take you to court to prevent your move you would at least be able to show that you had discussed it with her and agreed this.