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Step-parenting

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Really p*ssed off about mediation - venting

3 replies

balia · 21/12/2011 14:10

After a disasterous attempt to sort out holiday contact with his ex, DH finally decided he would have to go back to court to sort it out. He already has a court order for ordinary contact (which goes fairly smoothly) but the psych report suggested leaving holiday contact as it was (ordered when DSS was 3) for 12 months so ex could get used to it (MH issues - her, not DH or DSS).

DH wrote to ex to say he felt they had exhausted the possibilities of sorting things out between them, and she asked him if he would go to mediation.

Thing is - they have already been to mediation 18 months ago when DH first raised the idea of increasing holiday contact; or at least, to the initial appointment to assess suitability for mediation, and the mediation service said they wouldn't be able to help. The bloody appointments cost £72 a pop (which we can't afford, specially right now) and unless ex has massively changed her mind it will be a total waste of money. (It will, of course, be free for ex, just like her legal representation).

But of course if we go to court and she says she is willing to mediate they'll expect us to, so we might as well just get on with it. But it does make me really cross.

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EverybodyKnows · 21/12/2011 18:32

Hi Balia. Didn't want to post and run.

Haven't got any advice but sympathy for your situation.

I think it's strange that the decisions are based on the mothers ability ( or lack of) to cope with change. Its unfair to your SC.

EverybodyKnows · 21/12/2011 18:42

Doh, read and run.

As you were

balia · 21/12/2011 19:32

Thanks, EK. The Cafcass officer justified it by saying that as ex is DSS's primary carer, her mental health would have an impact on DSS's welfare, so her needs had to be taken into account. Frustrating, as the psych report clearly said that ex was exaggerating her anxiety as a weapon against DH.

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