What decision making do other sp have?

[rootietootie]

Either you as sp or dp as sp, regarding children i.e discipline, general upbringing of child, christmas, etc . When my and dp got together, in the beginning he did not have much say/he did not feel he had any right to opinion on dc, but once we moved in together, he began to voice his opinions more and more. Six years later and I would say its about 50/50 with regards to my ds.

Our children were pretty young when we got together so we just got on with it.

It's an even split and we learned to always back each other up in front of the children.

Each home has its rules -the children are expected to respect both rules and all parents, step or not.

Dh won't do anything without asking me first! And he's HIS child lol. I'm trying to encourage him to make more desisions himself though.

DSS lives with us and we co-parent. Saying that, I probably make more of the day to day decisions as I am home more and generally have more 'ideas' about parenting. (I think that really means that I think further ahead than DP and I reckon a lot of being a parent, step or otherwise is about being one or two steps ahead). Don't ask me about bringing up a baby though - I got my DSS aged 5 so already half house trained :)

DSS lives with us and we co-parent. Saying that, I probably make more of the day to day decisions as I am home more and generally have more 'ideas' about parenting. (I think that really means that I think further ahead than DP and I reckon a lot of being a parent, step or otherwise is about being one or two steps ahead).
Well-put. DH by his own admission is not very far-sighted! I have a clearer "philosophy" (although I don't like the sound of that!) while DH tends to go for whatever is easiest in the short-term. No prizes for guessing who is the tougher parent.

My stepkids were 11 and 13 when we met and are now teenagers; we also have a baby DD. On things that impact others in the family (emotionally, logistically, or financially - so most things!) - DH and I make joint decisions. ON the other hand, if it is something that truly only affects one child, it generally works out that we talk it over and share our opinions, but if it is about DSD or DSS, the final decision is DH's; if about DD, the final decision is mine.

As far as discipline, DH does all of the disciplining of DSD and DSS; if they'd been younger when I became stepmum I would expect this to be different maybe. I do tell the kids off when they have done something wrong, and depending on the situation, DH sometimes asks me to join him when he is delivering a "talking-to".

I should point out that we have the kids 100% of the time, there is no ex/mum to co-parent with.

It's an even split and we learned to always back each other up in front of the children.

Each home has its rules -the children are expected to respect both rules and all parents, step or not.

There is no "final" say, dh and I tend to sing from the same hymn sheet anyway.

It's pretty even but I'm far more placid so if I raise my voice they freeze like rabbits in headlights!

Our rules are pretty much the same as their mother's rules so we've not really had any problems there. Of course the eldest occasionally tries it on saying him mum lets him do something but he's a terrible liar and always picks things I know she'd never let him get away with.

We have very different situations for each child here.

My DD spends 50% of her time here and DP has developed an independent relationship with her; she loves & respects him, and he is comfortable in a role equal to mine in terms of decisions/discipline etc.

DSS is here 4 consecutive days a fortnight plus half of every holiday, but does not accept me in DPs life, so refuses to accept my involvement or authority.
We are seeking help for him, but up to now, I have been unable to play any role in discipline or even day-to-day care; when he is here, DP is responsible for him 24:7.

DP and I discuss everything regarding all the DCs - the difference is, only DP implements them in relation to DSS

My DSD is grown up now, but we got together when she was 2.5. From the beginnning I was very much a part of the discipline and general upbringing. I would have her for contact even when DH was working and then she moved in when she was 8. I did the day to day stuff so it has mostly been me who has done the majority of the parenting TBH. Even now when it comes to Christmas presents etc I usually choose them and go and buy them (as is the same for our dds) actually all he has to do is put his name on the card. I see more of DSD on a day to day basis also as I'm at home most of the time (SAHM) and both DSD and DH work. They can go for a week without seeing each other yet live in the same house.