cafcas

[marshkat]

Do cafcas really do what is best for the children? Feeling as though coz im the evil step mum my voice is not even taken into account. we have had major issues with my partners ex wife she has been charged with 2 forms of battery on her son 4 infront of her daughter 10. the ss put the kids into our care full time (originally 50/50) but ex is now fighting for unsupervised visits. now i have just been told she is coming to stepsons nativity at school as she has parental responsibility the school cant/wont stop her. Stepson is devistated as i type he is on the toilet for the 3rd time in the last hour since we told him she would be there. he has pooed his bed all 3 times! fed up need advice. sorry its long winded

p.s stepson does see his mum twice in 3 weeks but step daughter refuses to even speak to her as she also had a baby recently without telling the kids! it sounds awfull but we fill like there is NO help.

Hi, sorry you are going thru all this. Your SS sounds very upset poor boy.

Surely if he is pooing so much he could be said to have diarrhea and therefore shouldn't go to school?

I have no experience of Cafcass so can't advise on that.

Oh how sad for him :( If you have care though you can keep him off it he's ill and that can surely include stress-related illness. I'd talk to him and reassure him that you'll be there too (presuming you or DP can go?) and make it clear he's got a choice in the matter. He may well really want to do the nativity or feel he's letting others down if he doesn't so he may still be upset, but at least you'd give him back some control over the situation.

Might also be worth asking the school or other parents what the routine is with the nativity. At my DC's school the parents were sometimes allowed to go up to their DCs straight afterwards to congratulate them. But if that's not how it works, then he'd hardly have to see his mum at all if she was just in the audience. Whatever the routine is, it might help DSS if you talk it through with him in detail so he knows what to expect.