Any tips/experiences - mine doesn't seem to 'work' here.

[picalooo]

I will (work seem to be giving go ahead for it) be moving to the states to be with my DP and his son who is 14mnths old.

DP is a single parent and his DS's 'mum' has no part in his life and has signed away her rights.

We do see each other and knew each other at uni and re-met through work -and we make apoint to get D(S?)S on skype when I am so we do see each other.

When (touch wood) I move to the US I wont be moving in with them

I have step-parents and siblings but we were all older (late teens/early 20s) so both my experiences of it and my (step) parents experiences are different from my current situation. So while slightly helpful it is from a different point of view.

D(S?)S is wonderful and he (granted only 14mnths) seems to like me. and i'm not incapable around children.

I wouldn't say I'm 'ready' to be a step-mum but rather that I'm not not 'ready' to be a step mum. (if that makes sense). But after much going around about it (DP is 32 I'm 27) we both realise that this relationship has the capacity of going the full distance but to do that we have to be in the same country

I suppose just some experiences of a situation (with D(S)S etc) would be nice mine as I said is from a very different place.

Thanks

I'm not sure exactly what it is you are asking, so I apologize in advance if I am not very helpful!
My situation is very different in one major way, in that my stepkids (one DSS one DSD) were already almost teenagers. I think you will likely find it much easier coming into the kid's life when he is still so young (I could be wrong about that!) - but I also think it ups the ante a lot - if things do not work out, a small child could be much more hurt by it than a teenager, so I suppose it would be even more important to get that transition into his life just right, and to be very very sure that things are permanent before you allow him to depend on you. (all the more so, given your living circumstances)

Like you, there was no ex/mother in the picture (my DH was a widower).

The reason I am replying, though, is that I am from the States originally, although I moved around a bit in my adult life to other countries. I now live in the UK, because whiile I was here for work, I met my DH. The stepkids are in school here, so we would like to remain here until they finish. We have a DD together as well. All of my family is in the States, and our tentative plan is to return there eventually.
Anyway - as I say, I lived abroad quite a bit. But until I had the DD and the stepkids, I would never have guessed how much I would miss the support of my family. Or how much differences that I embraced as a single person, would become hard to cope with at times. I was in my late 30s when DH and I got together, and I was very independent, and very happy with my decision to live away from my own country, and extremely comfortable with the culture and lifestyle I had here as a single person. Then I became a stepmum. And what I will tell you is that the "step" situation can be very hard anyway, and the added dimension of living in a place that is not your "own" can really add to the feelings of loneliness and loss of control that I think come with the territory of being a stepmum. I'm not saying that to scare or discourage you, but to warn you! You will need lots of practical support, lots of emotional support, and frankly, enough financial security that you never ever ever feel like you are reliant on your DP.

it isn't a straight green card as also a intra-company transfer visa so work do a part (but I do fall into E1 which makes it easier) and I do part, visa remains same as long as I'm in job (has to be the same level as here - or above) - and it is my dream job so I have no plans to change.

I don't really know what I am asking except that this is so different from my experiences I kind of feel partly lost in it all. and brd I'm the same -worked and lived right around the world since I was 16.

um it's an I-140, Immigrant Petition for Alien Worker - same thing?

Anyone else got any tips about the situation - about D(S)S ?