SC's birthdays and your family/ friends

[EMS23]

I have an 8 (today) yr old DSS and I'm wondering if I'm right to feel a bit miffed that all my friends have ignored his birthday.

On the face of it, not that big a deal maybe but his sister, my DD was born on his birthday so also turned 1 yr old today and my 6 closest friends sent cards and pressies for her so surely they could've at least sent a card for him.

I've been with his Dad for 7 years, married for 2 and my DSS is a huge part of my life. However, a large mitigating factor is that my DH & I live 200 miles from my friends, having moved after our wedding to be close to my DSS. So my friends rarely see my DSS and although I visit "home" every 2 months or do, he doesn't come with me as it tends to be midweek and anyway, his Mum wouldn't allow it.

So does everyone experience this? My mum made sure my brothers sent cards to both kids but I can't get her to lobby my friends! So do I say something for next year or leave it and be upset every year?

Normally, I think this wouldn't be much of an issue but because both the children's birthdays are on the same day, it just highlights the situation.

The facts are that DSS has a Mum somewhere else so your friends don't really see him as "yours". Normally Mums friends might buy for DSS and your friends buy for your DD, this generally evens things out a bit and I feel that this is OK. My DP friends don't generally buy for DS and my friends don't buy for DSC and we are both fine with that.

I think perhaps you could minimise the impact on DSS by getting DD to open presents from friends when DSS isn't with you if this is possible, assuming you share the birthday day with Mum?

Tbh I doubt they've even thought of him, as they don't know him. It's just a shame it's the same day.

But DSS presumably gets presents from a load of people that your DD doesn't get presents from? (ie his mum's friends/family), Maybe you could remind him of that if it bothers him? Or if you are really keen to have him seen as part of your family, you could try and make sure your friends do know when his birthday is - mention it on facebook? Or other things generally to let them know he's part of your life.