DSS wants to change school for Sixth Form - Mum disagrees

[ladydeedy]

hello
some of you know my backstory and here's another piece - not sure how to deal with. My DSS lives with us fulltime. He's 15. He's also bright and is predicted all Grade A and Grade A* for GCSEs next year.

He has been at the secondary school that his mum chose for him when he lived with her (she did not involve DH in that discussion). It's an ok school but a) does not really stretch him and b) there is no public transport so we are reliant on him getting a lift there and back which doesnt always work out.
DSS has a friend that goes to a selective school (closer and on public transport route) that has excellent academic standards and he's mentioned he'd like to try and apply to do sixth form there. He's also mentioned he'd like to apply to Oxford. All of this is off his own bat by the way and in some part, it is true to say, because he is mixing with different people now that he lives with us.

DSS's mum has got wind of it and is hopping mad saying we are going to make a freak out of him, that we are snobs, we are removing him from his "social circle" etc etc and she is "blaming" me for wanting him to aim high (I am well educated and have good/well paid job which she seems to utterly resent). She wants to stop him changing schools.
Obviously she has PR, as does my DH, but I dont think she can do anything about this realistically, as he will be 16 if/when he moves? Does anyone know? Have not got kids myself so am not sure what the rules are here so would be grateful for any advice.....
thanks!!

PR for biological parents lasts until the children are 18. As the "resident parent" your partner could make the decision and his ex would have to apply to court to oppose it. At 16, the courts would no doubt take into account the child's wishes and feelings.

Obviously, ideally it would be a decision they could make together. But what it comes down to is a 16 year old having a say in their education.

Thanks. Relationship with ex is very painful and difficult. She does not see DSS so not sure how much influence she can expect to have in this decision. But yes, at the end of the day, if he wants to change school then we will support him. thanks. Didnt realise PR went on till 18! thanks for that.

Biological parents have PR until 18.

Parental Responsibility acquired by the courts for others, ie. guardians/step parents runs until 16 in most instances.

Doesn't a 16 year old have complete rights over where they go to 6th form? Parents can't force them at that age can they? PR may go on to 18 in respect to other things but at 16 you can leave home, get a job, join the army, etc - surely you can decide for yourself what college you go to? I would talk to the college to check this out. If they say it's your DSS's choice, then that would take the heat out of any dispute between his parents.

I think the simple fact is PR runs until 18. That is what is written down in law. However, if it got to the point of court if the ex took it there, then they would almost definitely take into account the 16 yr old's opinion of where they want to go to sixth form. That only need happen if the ex takes the matter to court, which would be pointless and expensive.

But yes, you would think that the 16 yr old should be able to have a say in where he went to college. He could choose not to go to college if he wanted, so the parents have little "say" in the matter and more advice and recommendations.