How would you deal with this - partner's child taking money from my DS

[MrsS01]

My DS (9) recently had a birthday so had some money in his room. Partner's child (11) and DS were playing in my DS' room and partner's child asked my DS for £10 - my DS said 'no'. Partner's child then said give me that £20 or else I won't play with you. My DS then left the room leaving partner's child in his room. When he returned the £10 had gone.

This has come to light as my DS was with his nan and she was talking about asking to borrow £10 from me and my DS said she could have had his £10 but 'partner's DS' took it.

How would you handle it with the partner and his child? I believe it happened as my DS doesn't lie and also the way it came to light. Plus partner's DS has previously taken money and lied.

My partner always says to treat his children as I would my own. I'll be going there later in the week, should I have a quiet word with his DS and ask for the money back - however, I think he will deny it. Should I speak to my partner first before I say anything? Should I handle it or let my partner deal with it?

anyone?

its an awful situation to be put in. I'm 100% sure my DS is telling the truth, and don't want partner's DS to get the idea its okay to do this, But I don't want to be the wicked step parent or for it to cause problems between me and my partner. Even though I think he will believe my DS

It's very difficult unless you can prove it. you know you're son is telling the truth but you can't actually prove it. I think there's not much you can do unless you lie yourself and claim to have seem him do the deed. I have had something similar happen. Fortunately dss put the stolen article back and claimed to have "found it". We learnt a lesson and don't leave any money or small electrics in DS room.

I can't prove it - although I know how much birthday money he had and how much he now has. I thought I may say to DSS that my DS has asked if he can have the money he's borrowed back and see what DSS says.

Well you could do this but I think maybe it would be better to tell your partner what happened. It's no use asking a child if they have stolen it, because they will always deny it. It needs to be nipped in the bud and I think you and your partner should agree how to deal with it. Sounds like the step-child is jealous of your son.

Maybe it would be best for his dad to say something like "look x I know you took £10 of x's money, and that's a wrong thing to do, so you will need to give it back (if he's spent it his pocket money could be stopped till your son gets the money back) and yes tell your son not to leave any money lying around in future, and you do the same.

It's not that unusual for kids to steal so I wouldn't make too much of it.

. Ok this is how I would handle it .

Firstly say to dp what has happened ,

Secondly , tell both kids together that stealing is wrong , as is lying and that you would like to know what happened to the birthday money .

Thirdly if ss does not own up , to taking the money , (given that he has already stolen from your home ) , offer to unpack / pack his bag of stuff when he arrives /leaves for his mums.

I have found many of my kids ds games about to grow legs and walk by doing the checking by stealth method. It's shit , but I was damned if I was going to let the stealing continue.

Hopefully he will grow out of it ...his dad should replace the missing money though