DP's ex is unbelievable...

[gggrrr]

...have to get this off my chest. DP's ex wife is an incredible woman, and that is not a compliment btw. She has not worked in at least 10 years, depsite being perfectly able to. Her dd (now 7) is at school so there is scope for p/t work at least. She almost drove my DP into the ground when they were married, with her over the top spending and running up c/c bills. She is now married to a pleasant chap with a v well paid job, has a perfectly kitted out 3 bed house, is thinking of getting a cleaner and a hot tub (!). All this and she got the hump when DP told her he was reducing maintenance payments (he was overpaying anyway, and we had just had a ds). We now have a dd as well so he will be on the phone to her in the new year to reduce it further. I feel like I am just griping about her but I have never met anyone so calculating with regards to money. She even told me that she was getting re-married 'to secure her future' . She has single handedly put the womens lib movement back years !

Well at least she's honest about it!

DH's ex fell "accidentally" pregnant by her new bloke 6 months after she & DH split.

Does your DH pay maintenence through the CSA? Is that why his payments are reduced when you have children of your own?

Yes, well you have to rate her for being honest about it I suppose - it just never fails to amaze me. DP doesn't pay through the CSA. The original amount was decided when they divorced and he has reduced (following advice from CSA website) because of a reduction in salary and now our 2 children.
She is a bit old to be falling pregnant now though, unlike your DH's ex...is she still with the new partner then ?

Yes actually she is, ten years on, so obviously things did work out for them, but it was pretty obviously a set up when it happened.

Was just interested about teh payments. DH didn;t pay either through the CSA, and then in fact he stopped paying maintenance shortly after DS was born (his other children had left full time education, and as agreed he only paid up until they left) so we never had to address the issue.

Oh well, good luck for the "chat" in the New Year. I can't imagine what would have happened if DH had had to reduce payments for a simialr reason.

Probably wouldn;t be here to tell the tale.

The first time he had to drop the payment, she started to kick off about it 'you can't just do that...' I'll be seeing a solicitor' etc etc, but her dp is a reasonable chap tbh and she had to back down quick when she saw that he was being cool about it. my DP wants to keep it as amicable as poss to avoid involving solicitors and CSA as it would get horrendously expensive. He is willing to pay his way for his dd, but we suspect the money keeps them in wine for the month at least ! Still, maybe she'll have to rethink about the cleaner in the New Year !

My dp's ex owns three houses and two flats and doesn't work even though her daughter is 10. We own one modest house and both have to work to pay for it and to pay for maintenance. Life can seem pretty unfair at times can't it?

Yes - it does make you v bitter sometimes. Still we have our beautiful kids and that's all we need really...

I try not to be bitter, but it can be hard, particularly when I have to listen to dp's daughter telling us how poor her mother is and how she's worried about paying to heat her house as it's so big it costs a lot to heat!