wills - stepchild/living together/buying a house - any suggestions?

[barleymow]

Not sure if anyone can help but worth a shot, I live with DP and DSS (in a rented house), we're not married (been together 18 months) but are buying a house together soon. DSS is nearly 7 and we want to write wills so that house goes to each other first if one of us dies and that there is provision for DSS in terms of 'letter of wishes' for DP to say he wants me to look after DSS and also that DSS would get inheritance when he is an adult if something happens to either of us.

Does anyone have any advice, suggestions of what to write or has any experience of this sort of thing. I think my will is more straightforward as I can leave everything to DP but his is more complicated by arranging for DSS's care but without wanting anything to go to his ex-w in the event that I wasn't awarded guardianship. (DSS lives with us full time, BM sees him every other weekend, she left 2 years ago)

thanks

Hi Barleymow, first off you'll need to adopt DSS (providing BM gives consent) for you to have any chance of guardianship I would think. The wording of the Will needs to be sorted out by a specialist Will lawyer which is actually fairly common in step-family situations, i.e. everything to each other with clauses covering re-marriage, etc., whereby 50% (or whatever split you decide on) goes into trust/or straight to the deceased's DCs depending on how old they are at the time.

Good experienced Will Lawyer definitely needed!

SingingTunelessly is spot on, and this is absolutely why you need a good solicitor.

There was a programme on earlier in the year on BBC2 called "You Can't Take It With You" which dealt with this very issue (this episode: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00yc6my ). The Mum wanted her husband to have guardianship of her daughter but found it made no difference if she expressed her wishes, as the daughter's biological father would automatically be her guardian.

Basically, you can't do this without the biological mother's involvement.

thanks for your comments, I think you're right, a trip to the solicitor is on the cards.

Barleymow, you do not need to adopt your stepson to obtain guardianship, and given that he sees his mum every fortnight, there is frankly no chance that the court would grant an adoption order.

I'm a family lawyer and also a freelance will writer.

What your partner could do is appoint you as your stepson's guardian in his will, but in the event of a dispute, his mother could make an application for a residence order under the Children Act, and then the court would have to decide whether it would be in your dss's best interest to live with his mother or with you.

So far as the finances are concerned, the only problem about leaving your estate to your partner, and vice versa, is that there's no guarantee that your dss (and indeed any children of you both) would receive anything, as the survivor of you could at any time change your wills to leave it to a third party. The safest option is to grant a life interest in the property to one another, so that on the first death, the survivor can continue to live in the house, and on the second death, the house is sold and the proceeds distributed to whomever has been appointed as beneficiary.

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