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Emotionless traits

2 replies

allnewtaketwo · 25/04/2011 20:20

Some of you may be familiar with my situation. Brief synopsis - 2 DSSs, 15 and 12. They have a very controlling mother. Unfortunately DSS1 takes everything she says as gospel, without question. DSS2 much more 'with it' generally. DSS1 has always been the terminally bored type - follows DH round, struggles if not entertained 24/7. Doesn't seem to want to 'break free' in any way. Doesn't spend any free time with friends etc etc.

I've always thought he lacks the emotional maturity you'd expect for his age. Totally in contrast to DSS2, who you would actually think was much older behaviourally/socially/emotionally. DSS1 wasn't so young when parents broke up (8). DH had to go to court to get any sort of access and contact has been strictly controlled ever since (and we're talking to the closest 5 minutes, or there is warfare)

Anyway DH has always thought that DSS1's reluctance to speak up to his mum, see his friends more, do his own thing more, was due to his inability to question/stand up to her control (e.g. that he wants to do those things but feels he can't). I've always got much more the impression that DSS1 is, how shall I say 'emotionless'. For example, it's a bit of a running (non funny) joke that when anyone asks DSS1 anything, his answer is 'I don't know', or if you tell him anything whatsoever, his answer is 'ok'. You get the drift, basically he lacks opinions about anything. I've never actually seen him, in the 9 years I've known him, get excited or enthusiastic about anything. Basically if you were to tell him you had 2 months to live his answer would be 'ok'.

Anyway at the weekend the subject came up whereby DSS2 was talking about missing us during the week. DSS1 then said that he never missed anyone (not just us, but also not his mother, friends, anyone).

Now that didn't take me by surprise in the slightest, based on everything else I've witnessed. Also to be honest, some of his traits are common to, for example, DBIL, and also my MIL isn't the warmest person you could meet. But DH is quite upset, obviously. Not because he's taken it personally, but clearly it's quite a worrying trait and makes you wonder about his future etc etc.

Not sure what my question is really!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MadameCastafiore · 25/04/2011 20:21

Goodness - does he show any emotion at all? Guilt maybe?

allnewtaketwo · 25/04/2011 20:25

Not that I can think of, honestly. His mother is quite a bully and to be honest he seems to have picked up on some of those habits. I know brothers are generally not the nicest to eachother very often but the ways he speaks to DSS2 makes very uncomfortable listening. It's odd because if you were to meet him, you'd think he was quietly spoke, well mannered and wouldn't say boo to a goose (which he is generally).

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