I have two step children, one is a boy (17) and the other is a girl (11). Both children would rather be at their mothers rather than at mine and my DP's house and tbh the son is rarely here anyway. Whatever I do whether it is cooking, ironing, cleaning, making beds, giving money/lifts, taking them for meals out, it is never appreciated. I have paid for them to go on holiday before and while I do not expect a pat on the back for everything I do, I do not expect to get treated like dog poo while on holiday!
When it is mother's day I take the girl out to choose (and buy) a mother's day present for her mum and the same for Christmas and birthdays. However I am not even acknowledged on mother's day and the son does not know when my birthday is. Today, their dad got an easter egg but only because I texted the son to make him buy one. Naturally I did not get anything.
I have been told by the boy in no uncertain terms that I am 'nothing to do with him' and the daughter seems to enjoy making snidey comments and when she is here she completely controls what we watch on television, what we have for meals and what we do. If we do anything she doesn't like (ie going for a walk or a bike ride) her attitude is terrible and makes it not enjoyable anyway.
I don't feel like part of the family and feel like it is a 'them and me' situation. It is very difficult to speak to my DH about this as he takes it very personally and I end up bottling everything up. I feel like crying most of the time but obviously do not want to show my weakness.
I have just read this message back to myself and it sounds very petty and silly but without listing every single incident, all I can say that I don't relish living like this!