Holidays, AIBU.... (sorry long)

[emskaboo]

We are planning summer already, trying to get early booking deals.

We spilt the holidays 50/50 and normally do no more than a week block at a time. I'd hoped this year as I'm on maternity leave to have a two week holiday in a house in France, lots of reasons but one of the biggies is that the longer DBD is with us the more settled and normal things are, the less clingy with her dad she is, allowing DS to spend time with DH too.

However DBD's mum has said no to a two week stay with us and wants the normal pattern of no more than a week to be maintained. DH is saying now let's have two single weeks away plus additional days at home with DBD.

Given all of this AIBU to say I'd like one week away all of us and one week away without DBD? We would have DBD for the same amount of time, so she wouldn't miss out on time with DH and her mum and her DH will be taking her away too so will have another holiday.

As I'm typing this I think I prob am BU but two weeks away will just be two weeks of me doing most of the parenting for DS and DD whilst DH does stuff with DBD as she won't have time to get over the cling and DS will play up to try and get DHs attention; arghhhhhh!

You've made the offer and had it thrown back in your face. We had this once upon a time with DSD mother and my husband grew a pair (mainly cos I threatened to go without him) and we booked it just for us and explained to DSD her mum was uncomfortable with the holiday and therefore we were sorry but she wouldn't be coming with us.

We went. Had a fantastic time and her mother has NEVER been awkward again since - because she KNEW we'd stand our ground.

Its not your fault - its hers! Book it and stop feeling guilty... oh! and ENJOY your holiday. [:)]

I just came across this thread I know i'm a couple of weeks late but was wondering if u had got anywhere with the holiday situation? My DH and I had a big problem with his ex we actually got married abroad last year and she said DSS could come so we booked the place etc made arrangements and DSS got all excited then about a month before she said he couldn't come for no apparent reason and the place couldnt be refunded through the travel company. My parents had paid for the wedding including this place so u can imagine their thoughts on the ex when they were rather largely out of pocket and poor DSS and my DH were devestated. It was a nightmare!

I wish I could say we had; but no! DH is happy to accept two separate weeks, and can't/won't hear what I'm trying to say about my concerns about that. There's quite a lot going on with DBD though and I'm just not up for making a complicated situation worse!

DH and I have had a pretty frank covo about stuff recently and he is really trying hard to be fair to us all, but this is being complicated by what I'm fairly sure is the beginnings of puberty, problems between DBDs mum and BD which are having an effect on DBD and pre SAT tests which are stressing out DBD further, it never rains but it pours!

What pisses me off about the situation you describe (and ours a lot of the time) is the way the resident parent seems to think that contact with the non resident parent is for them to decide on, without consideration of the child's feelings

Thats the problem a lot of the issues for us come from the RP being unreasonable for no reason which just upsets her own DS in long run. It doesn't make sense to me!