Mum Vs Stepmum

[cobbledtogether]

www.beingastepparent.co.uk/mum-vs-stepmum.html

Though this article was a really objective view of some of the feelings associated with the mum / step mum relationship.

its a good article thanks cobbled. It is so tough for both sides so a reminder of some common sense and compassion is always a good thing.

Thinking about all of the threads I've read on here over time, the lines that stood out most for me were..

"Even when parents and stepparents have valid reasons for disliking one another, they need to keep their feelings under control so as not to cause the children any unnecessary hardship. Kids have the right to love both of their parents, and usually do so unquestioningly unless they?ve been made to feel that they shouldn?t."

I'm lucky. DH, his Ex have always worked together which has made it much easier for me as a step mum.

I like that article :) thanks for finding it CT :)

That's a good article.
I felt this quote said what I tend to feel.

"Kids have the right to love both of their parents, and usually do so unquestioningly unless they?ve been made to feel that they shouldn?t"
My ex isn't a super dad but my dd has a relationship with him because he is her dad. He has his faults and now's she's a worldly teen she's aware of these..however I'm not perfect either but I hope she has learnt that both her parents love her and will support her. Whatever the situation of the separation I think children need to feel this - if they have anyone else in their lives, like bonus mums or dads that can be a wonderful addition for the children.

That's a great article, and I wish it reflected my own circumstances better.

I am both mum and stepmum. Both my DCs have (different) stepmums, one of which was the OW that signalled the end of the relationship (with exp). They are both good to my DCs and I am happy with that.

On the flip side, DSSs mum is a nightmare who never considers how her vitriol will affect her son. He is permanently stuck in the middle, sometimes manipulates situations as her and DS don't speak (can't without rowing), and DH hates her for it.

I know that my DCs are far more emotionally secure and stable as a consequence of how we've dealt with moving forward so even in the hardest circumstances, I'll always encourage splitting couples to put their DCs emotions above everything else that they feel.

'' I'll always encourage splitting couples to put their DCs emotions above everything else that they feel.''

Married-So true