Telling DBD she's going to have a baby brother/sister

[SMummyS]

My DBD is 5yrs old, we have a complicated relationship with DP's exW. If we have a really nice weekend with DBD (DBD goes home saying what we've done etc) she'll come back the folowing week with shite her mum has fed her, usually Daddy isnt your real dad he's just a part time dad and step dad is real dad. When DP bought me a ring for xmas last year, DBD's mum told her that DP and I wont be together for long if she has her way!!

There are many other things but I havent the patience to go through it all, but some of the regulars on here will remember some of the things.

DP and I found out before xmas that Im pregnant, it was a shock as it wasnt planned. We came round to the ideda when I was rushed into hospital with some complications which are not going to go away (large cyst that keeps growing). Due to this we made the decison not to tell anyone till my 12 week scan, however my booking appointment is at the school DBD goes to at 9am, and chances are il be spotted by exW so im preparing myself for us to tell DBD sooner than 12 weeks (im 8w4d now)

Anyway history over, does anyone have any ways we can tell DBD as well as reassuring her that she's not going to be pushed out etc etc (pre-empting exW comments).. She has a baby sister at her mums and she didnt handle that overly well..

Any help on what to do and what no to do will be grately appriciated

I've done this, but my DBD was a lot older than 5.

The cbeebies website has some great little films that we used with DS to explain pregnancy that are right for her age www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/grownups/familytime/mummyspregnant/chapter1.shtml

These may be a nice and neutral way to explain it all.

With DS who was 3 when we told him, we put it all into about how he was going to be a big brother and how important he was going to be. She's a bit older and I expect that your ex may play the "SMS and Daddy will love the new baby more than you", so the only advice is to get in there first and make a big deal about how its about her as well.

Can you change the booking appointment to make sure that it isn't at a time the ExW will be around? If not, could you ask them if you can arrive early and keep out of sight etc. If you can manage that, then you can tell the DBD at a time of your choosing.

BTW, we told my DSS in a v relaxed way one morning that we were going to have a baby and he cheered. Very reassuring for DH who was worried about how he was going to react.

Only children are often desperate to have a sibling, so I wouldn't imagine the telling would be tricky. I would then talk about how lucky the baby is going to be having DBD as a sister.

Cant change the appointment as they need to see me this week, the only appointments were tues 9am or wed 3.15.

green i think the way you suggest is good. we'd probably do it at the start of the weekend.

BH thats the comment im expecting, shes said it before :(

I like the idea about love growing! It's something she'll understand.

Was definately going to do the present from baby thing, will decide on gift nearer the time

We was also going to get her involved with the room, so she feels included.

2 weeks till we tell her, provided everything is ok :)

Any ideas how to include her in the pregnancy? Going to get her to come to a 3D scan with us.. And until we decorate room I'm at a loss as to how to include her..

Yeah shes 5. We are both set on her keeping her own room so box room will be baby's room. Yup plan to BF, but will express if I can so DP and DBD can feed too.

I just dint want her to feel left out as I know she is at her mums.