Stepmum's Job Description

[FruitAndNutcase]

Sorry NNN and NAAM saw this idea for a thread in the NSC thread yesterday and thought it was an excellent idea. Hope you dont mind me starting the threa?

Go girls and start your job description suggestions

Hi FANC - no problem at all, glad you like the idea - we have to do something to make the job a little easier and give each other a laugh

So...where do we start???

My first thoughts are:

Must be a mind-reader
Have the patience of a saint
Be in possession of a big stick to beat BM with
Preferably ought to own a car to enable a getaway when things get too much

I'm sure I can come up with more than that...I'll have another think

Anyone else??

Lol @ NAAM!

Ok how about........

Must have quite small head - To allow things said and done to go over it.

Must be happy to be at bottom of priority list.

Must not be adverse to disappointment or last minute changes to plans.

Must have endless pot of money.

Ermmmm......... Anymore?

must be rubbish cook cos you're going to get called one, if it's true you won't mind so much
independently wealthy with f off money and a country retreat
hard as nails
aspirational

Lol @ Ninah!

Anymore?

emotional punchbag

Very good one Doormat!

duties: feeding, cleaning, loving, tidying, watching Dirty Sanchez, must be ready to spring into action at short notice. additional duties without prior arrangement. Salary nil. Appraisal-regular and critical (oh, have you been with dad THAT long?!) vacation: pmsl. Promotion - no chance - bm irreplaceable
you will have a short part-time induction phase (bowling on Saturdays, followed by posh one to one dinners with dad). You then sign on for long term position. Retirement age - post viable. notice period - immaterial. You'll always love the s children.

Lol Ninah, I think you just about covered it all!

You have all forgotten the regulation 'uniform!!!!!

what is it nnoo?

Good point NNN - The giant NSC pants!!! Lol

See posts in Nutty step-mum club thread.

Tues 29th march 3.25 by Reflection.
Reflection on weds 30th march 11.42

See also post by someone called squirrel on sat 2nd april 3.45 am (must have had insomnia that morning!)

Said Uniform can be purchased on ebay (complete with skids) for the bagin price of £1.99!

oh god ... don't think I'm going to like it! lol

lol can I jsut add to the appraisal bit.... Its ok I suppose but not as nice as my mum/nan/dad/aunt/5th cousin twice removed makes/does [delete as approriate]

Lol @ NNN and Tarantula.

Anyone got any more job descriptions to add?

C'mon there must be loads more lol

also ahve to add. Level of Authority: 0 you are not their parent so you cant give out to them, disipline them etc despite the fact they are in your house.

(cept me of course cos Im the pocket money payer ha ha oooooo the power )

Must add disclaimer here that dss's BM has never expected me to love dss like her and dp do (tho I do love him) and she is also firmly of the belief while hes in our house he lives by our rules.

what about confidante et horibulus
eg I am smoking and drinking but dont tell me dad
huh what is that about
of course I have to tell dad
then you get told they cant trust you and call you a shitstirrer

OMG doormat you know your stuff!
and pmsl at tarantula 'everyone does it BETTER, everyone does it better than yoo-hoo'

And what ever you do...DON'T FORGET TO SMILE

Because you have no right to be upset or affected in any way as you are NOT A PARENT!

Keep smiling.....

OK. My face aches now.....

No really. I'm fine. I have nothing to complain about......

Woman wanted to enjoy the company of delightful and fun six to 14-year-old girl. Opportunity to shop for pretty clothes, relive her own childhood, play with Barbies without shame, cuddle up on the sofa watching Doris Day movies of an afternoon, cook together, help with surprisingly interesting homework, enliven weekends with trips to museums, parks and fairs -none of which you might do without her. Alternate weekend work only - the rest of the time she will be cared for safely elsewhere. In time you may find that she becomes a much loved elder sister to your own children, a helpful pair of hands and a social asset. There will, as with all jobs, be difficult times and you will need all your reserves of patience to deal with the sometimes irrational demands of her mother, but in general this is a satisfying and enjoyable job with the prospect of lifelong rewards.

That is lovely Aloha. Very nice to read something so positive.xxx

I think I'm very lucky tbh.