Ok, i get the feeling this is going to be a long post but there is a good few months frustation going to come out now. I will try and tell it as objectively as possible, as i wasn't on the scene until a certain point which i will mention so this is what i have heard from DP.
Well, i love my DSD to pieces, she is a fantastic little character, can be a little sh*t sometimes, but im sure most 19m old can be. I have a lot of love and time for her and she loves me back too which is a bonus, i am quite often favourite over Daddy! The only problem is DSD mother, she is a nightmare, (IT ISN'T JUST ME THAT THINKS THAT IT IS EVERYONE AROUND HER). I'll explain...
To begin with she didn't have the best of conceptions, she lied to DP when they were 'together' that she was on the pill. They weren't really together, well she saw they were, he was doing what he had to do, and in his eyes they were SWOI, to keep a roof over his head as he had moved in with her out of desperation (lot of trouble in his past). When she fell PG, DP had just got his life back on track and had moved out. She actually admitted to him that she wasn't really on the pill and had trapped him!! And she isn't the brightest bulb in the box to get back at him to try and hurt him and say this to do just that.
During the pregnancy, he did the whole Dad thing, whilst not leading her on, he went to scans etc. She didn't do Ante-natel classes seeing as she had already done it 4 times before. However this is one thing that started in the PG that is a recurring thread. MONEY! She always asked for it and if DP wouldn't give it she would say things like 'Well you need to support your daughter'. (veaing in mind she was still in the womb. The sad thing is though she spent any money during the PG on cigarettes and alcohol. One incident during this time was when she was 8 months PG she went into DP place of work p*ssed up and being abusive. The manager had to actually order her from the premises.
At this point she hasn't even being born and i wasn't even on the scene but it does build up!
After the birth up until 5 months they shared the parenting between the two of them. However she was still doing the same things that she was doing throughout the PG. Basically all she is about is the money and she saw DP had (obviously) a soft spot in regards to my DSD, his DD, and gave her the money... Which at the time he was on jobseekers. And i know you shouldn't listen to what you hear on the grapevine, but all she was doing on this money was drinking it away.
After 5 months DP basically had DSD full time until she was after 1yr. Mother saw her only one a week. The circumstances behind this happening too are horrible: she rang social services and told them she couldn't cope anymore and told them to 'dump her on DP'. That wasn't the only time she pulled that stunt either, has happened twice since.
Meanwhile at the time DP was with his ex. DSD mother did everything she could to cause as much sh*t between them, abusive messages on facebook and things like that until it escalated. One day whilst DP was at home DSD mother came round with DSD to 'dump her on him'. She saw that his Partner of the time was there, she stayed calm and didn't say anything even when she was having abuse hurled at her. Then with DSD in her arms she swung for her!!! DP ex did nothing! But what sort of Mother does that with their daughter in their arms?!?!
Moving on, something that happened when DSD was 8 months old. DP took her to the clinic, DSD mother knew about this. Well when DP got to the clinic with DSD, while in a room playing with her, he was told by the clinic he was not allowed to leave with her until the police came!!! Mother had reported DSD kidnapped by DP!!! At the time courts had said that DSD mother had residency too. Courts are a further story. The police had to take DSD away from DP. As you can imagine he was distraught!!
Anyways, onto the courts issue. 7 times in 18 months. I don't know the ins and outs but a few incidences such as outside the court when DSD mother was crying to DP saying you can have her as long as i can still get child benefit and Child tax credits! This really is what it's about to her - MONEY!
I have noticed i am making more notes of what happened now, but it really is a lot and i just wanna get it off my chest
CAFCAS report in DP favour
Made DP life hell
People say she still loves him
Wants money for everything - doesn't just ask, she tells. 'I need food, what are you going to do about it'
Money for xmas presents
AND she has still called the CSA - no more handouts to her from now on
But WHY does she have to make my life hell, she has put a lot of strain on our relationship too! Also when DSD is round at ours she sometimes talks to her mother and one thing she said (she didn't realise she was on loudspeaker) 'I hope you treating her like rubbish' (she obv called me by name)
DSD also called me mummy the other day but i correct her and make it clear i am not!
It's not a jealousy thing though that she thinks im taking her daughter away from her - i'm not, nor do i wish to!
What can we do to stop her causing hell!