Over 20 years ago dh and his ex went through a messy divorce where she went off with a younger man leaving their 3 young teens with dh.She said she had married too young and wanted some 'me time'.Within a year she had a new baby daughter and had moved abroad with new dh.Dsd is middle child with a drother 18 months either side.
I was widowed and had 2 dc [dd and ds] similar ages.when we married dss1 was at college,dss2 was 15 and dsd was 17.she chose to finish at her current school and her grandmother [dh's mum]lived with her in the family home.We all seemed to get on very well.
Eventually all 5 dc went to uni,got professional careers and married and had dc of their own.Dsd and my ds both live abroad.My dd lives near and his ds1&2 live away but visit regularly.
When I had cancer dsd and her dh and ds visited despite requests that they wait [we sent money for fares as we wanted to see them when my treatment was over].Because I was so ill my dd offered to do the main meals at her house.To cut a long story short dsd said some pretty nasty things to me [eg are you using chemo to get out of the housework and this house is unsafe for a child].They left after one night and havent spoken to us since.this was 3 and a half years ago.She wont answer emails or reply to letters or acknowledge gifts.My dh is so very unhappy and I dont know what to do.Her ds has ASD but we dont know much about him.Its awful-please help-she is 40 soon and christmas is coming is there anything we can do/send to encourage a response?
Thanks