Birthdays

[2blessed2bstressed]

Too frightened to post this in AIBU, and actually, would like to canvas opinion on this in general - I think it's such a minefield!
Dsd is 10 in a couple of weeks, dp's ex has phoned today to say that she wants us to pay for a limo to take dsd and her friends to the 10 pin bowling party that she has organised for her. Dp, myself and my kids are not invited to the party. Limo would be picking up dsd and her friends from her mums house - we wouldn't even see it. I'm afraid I told dp "no way".
Dsd has never indicated that she wants or expects a limo anyway!
Dp and his ex have awful relationship, I think maybe I'd be more willing to do something jointly if we could all be civil and on relatively good terms, but it's never gonna happen.

If you didn't organise it together I can't see why you would have to foot the bill.

Do something nice with DSD next time she is with you.

If it was her 18th then maybe... but shes 10!!! I would tell her no way too..

At 10??!!! No way, just because she's 10. Ridiculous in itself.

If it was a special birthday, and you were all celebrating together, then yes. But if the mother (see what I did there? ) has organised it without speaking to your dp, then I think it's up to her to pay as she's organised it.

For a ten year old, is she having a giraffe?

At a push something could be done jointly, but to come up with this idea (she's 10 ffs) and expect you to pay?

I would be saying No Way also.

Just to clarify - she hasn't actually organised the limo - she just thinks dsd should have one - so presumably we'd be booking it too.
My plan is to take her, dsd1, my two and a couple of her friends out for a meal when we've got them next weekend. We'll be going in my and dp's cars!
Apparently ex has said "well so and so's getting this for their birthday, so dsd should have a limo, and I only work part time so you'll need to pay for it".

Your plan sounds fab 2B2BS- I would just get on with that and decline her generous offer (sic)

I had a limo on prom night (I'm Canadian ) but for a 10 Y old, that's madness.

Limo???

Is that the norm these days? Have I missed something???

Well that's the point (partly), she's only gonna be 10 ffs! I am really really fond of both dsds, but apart from anything else, dp can't afford it, so I'd have to pay for it.
I suspect part of the issue is that ex's bff is the ex of a professional footballer (still following me?), and therefore her disposable income is quite a lot. Ex's bff dd and dsd are best frenemies and are forever falling out and making up and I suspect dp's ex is trying a bit of keeping up with the Joneses.

Don't see why I should fund that though.

Aaargh, I sound like a bitch now!

No, you don't- why should you foot the bill?

Her frustrations not yours= you don't have to pay for it.

Thank you so much for that Pegs

That's just ridiculous

Why would a 10yo need a limo FGS? Why would you guys pay for it? Why aren't you invited to DSDs party?

So I'm not being unreasonable, or erm "a miserable selfish bitch"? Thanks guys!

Not at all- Very sensible if you ask me.

She's too young for a limo, and you shouldn't need to pay!

totally agree with all that's been said on here. We often get the "I cant afford for it, you have to pay for it" diktat, and DH responds with "we all have to adapt to live within our means. Now that there are two homes there is less money to go round and therefore naturally some things just cant be afforded any more". End of...

We made it v clear from the outside that no "extras" would be paid for outside of the child maintenance as we knew if it started, the demands would never ever end....

Am astounded.

And strangly not.

Is there no end to the madness?

YANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNBU